Thinking about going to see Lakeview Terrace this weekend? Let’s play a little game.

Close your eyes. In your head, combine the racial overtones of Crash, the psychotic neighbor conspiracy of Disturbia and add in a good dose of any bad marriage comedy you have ever seen. Do you have it? Then you have just seen Lakeview Terrace, without wasting $10 or two hours of your life.

The film starts off well enough but quickly slides into a formulaic, insincere, logic-defying piece of work. Terrace tries to use the same sort of racial tensions that propelled Crash as the backbone of the plot, but it fails miserably — always staying superficial and never gaining the same sort of poignancy, sincerity and depth that Crash had. By adding in the suspense elements of Disturbia, without any sort of eye candy in the form of Shia LaBeouf, and throwing in significantly too much off-color comedy and unrelated side plots, Lakeview Terrace manages to become nearly unwatchable.

Allow me to give you a quick rundown of the plot. An interracial couple moves into their first home together in a development called — you guessed it — Lakeview Terrace. Their new neighbor is a rule-abiding (almost to the point of mania) Los Angeles police officer, who happens to be African American, named Abel Turner (Samuel L. Jackson). Abel takes on a strong and immediate dislike for his new neighbors based solely on the fact of their differing skin tones. This dislike quickly turns to hatred, and Abel begins to try to get them to leave the neighborhood: He aims bright lights at their bedroom window all night, slashes their tires and so on. Eventually, the couple, played by Patrick Wilson and Kerry Washington, attempts to fight back against Abel, which sets him off into a psychotic rage. This tension and controversy in the end leads to a fight between both sides. I’ll keep the winner a secret, but I am sure you can guess who comes out on top.

Samuel L. Jackson’s character is never developed well enough, and although he is obviously crazed, he lacks any sort of redeeming quality, which makes his performance fall flat. There is zero chemistry between Wilson and Washington, and neither of their individual performances is above average.

Further, there is a strange subplot that persists throughout the entire movie about wildfires in southern California, which I assume is probably a function of the fact that the film was most likely shot several months ago in Los Angeles, during one of the worst wildfire seasons the area has ever seen. However, yet again, this theme is never fully developed and just sort of hangs to the side without really impacting the actual plot.

In the end, the film never gets off the ground. There are so many subplots that it is hard to stay focused on the main progression of the film. The film lacks individuality or creativity, and the outcome of the film can be easily guessed about half an hour after the opening credits. Lakeview Terrace definitely had the potential to be a poignant film about the persistence of racial tensions in America today and the hardships still faced by interracial couples. However, instead of taking the sincere route, Lakeview Terrace insists on inserting an inordinate amount of off-color comedy, and never even attempts to shoot for sincerity.

The moral of this story: This weekend, spend your time and money on a different film, or somewhere else entirely — and don’t waste it on the confusing and unrealistic Lakeview Terrace.