During my freshman proseminar, I sat back in my chair and swallowed my tongue as I listened to several white male classmates haughtily speak for my entire race as if I were not even in the room. We were discussing the experiences of racial minorities in the United States. My classmates then suggested race is merely a social construct. Clearly, these white men could not understand the struggles of black people in the United States.
My skin has always been erroneously used to measure my perceived intelligence, beauty and right to speak as an equal in rooms full of white men. But at Georgetown, the pain I endure from prejudice feels so much more apparent and debilitating: My college experience has been dominated by educated white men who have led their entire lives through racial ignorance.
My life as a woman of color navigating the echo chambers of white men has been marred by inconspicuous microaggressions. In high school, my classmates called me the N-word and a slave. Friends constantly ask if they can touch my hair as though it is a toy.
I am also used to hearing the comments: “How did she know the answer to that question? She is black,” and “You should really comb your hair or straighten it. If you do, more guys would like you.”
At Georgetown, I often feel as though to many white male students here, I am just the “black girl that sits over there.” Apparently, I am identifiable only by the color of my skin.
Here, many white male students not only see my skin color but also internalize it; their presumptions about me follow in turn. Here, many white male students treat me not as an individual but as a farcical black characterization conceived in blackface minstrel shows of the 1850s.
At Georgetown, I am the object of racial fetishization. Men have told me their dreams of losing their virginity to a black girl. I hear conversations among men who objectify black women, as though having sex with one is akin to colonizing or acculturating the lands of indigenous peoples.
I encounter privileged male students who assume I am incapable of holding leadership positions, telling me instead I should be relegated to merely taking roll call at our club meetings.
I meet students who speak on their struggles with “reverse racism,” as though this absurd proposition is equivalent to centuries of institutional racism designed to benefit white people; not a single individual in our bystander training has challenged their misguided perspectives.
I have always wondered what it is like to be a white man at Georgetown. I wonder what is it like to not feel pressure to smile in public settings, for fear of being labelled an “angry black woman,” or quiet your voice for the sake of not being called “ratchet” or “ghetto.”
I wonder what is it like to not have to brush your kinky, curly hair every morning before class, or worry that what you wear will be used to racially stereotype you — that you will be seen as the “poor, uneducated black girl” who cannot dress decently.
I wonder what is it like to not be a distraction — to not be bothered by the piercing stares and conspicuous whispers when you raise your hand in class to discuss issues of racism and microaggressions. I wonder what it is like to ignore the implicit bias entwined in your words and behaviors toward women of color. I wonder what is it like to freely speak about white guilt as if your race was the one enslaved.
Despite these pervasive aggressions, never once have I wished I were not black. Regardless of skin color, we all made it to Georgetown for a reason.
I understand that you may be surprised when you eventually — inevitably — find yourself falling off the high horse of white privilege that you have spent your entire lives riding. But you need not fear me: Contrary to your exclusive ideologies, the truly inclusive community that people like me are finally building has a place for everyone — including you. We welcome you to help create this community at Georgetown.
And, one day, black women like me will no longer exist like caged birds in the racist vacuum of white ignorance.
Jade Ferguson is a freshman in the School of Foreign Service.