Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

‘Thanks for Nothing’ in 2005

A time for turkey and stuffing, drunken cousins and an early parade put on by a company that is the world’s second-largest consumer of helium right behind your beloved Uncle Sam. This is Thanksgiving.

For you freshmen, it is an exhilarating holiday. It is probably the first time you will see your high school friends since you left for college, realize how uncool they are and that your college stories are so much better than theirs. You will also have to abide by your parents’ rules again, unless they never gave you a curfew in the first place. In that case, run wild, hold massive parties and remember to invite me (my e-mail is at the bottom of the column). For anyone staying at school over the break, it is really not that bad. You get to experience Leo’s Thanksgiving dinner with none other than President DeGioia. Remember to be nice, however, for he only earned $542,328 this year.

Thanksgiving, really, is a time to reflect on this past year, and on what makes our nation great. Before examining our current state of affairs, we should first look back to our elementary school textbooks and read how lovely the first Thanksgiving celebration actually was. Even without Martha Stewart’s “Thanksgiving Planner” and recommendations for floral arrangements, the Pilgrims and Indians managed to have a good meal. Stewart also tells us to call people to the table before serving; I suppose that, in the unlikely case that the Pilgrims and Indians didn’t know, they were not in fact eating dinner in the guest bedroom.

When the Pilgrims first landed in 1620, they had an exceedingly difficult time adjusting to the new climate and the Boston Red Sox fans. Luckily for them, a Wampanoag Indian named Squanto spoke English and taught the Pilgrims how to plant corn and tap maples for sap. Interestingly, the warm blankets Squanto received in return were not as helpful to his people as the advice Squanto gave the Pilgrims, but at least the Wampanoag found out early about smallpox. Regardless, the Pilgrims invited the remaining Native Americans to join them for festivities and a great meal with a veritable cornucopia of food.

Around this time, the Pilgrims and Indians signed a Proclamation of Peace. Sadly, things got a little dicey in the following years and the Pilgrims and their descendents were forced to systematically murder the majority of the Indian population. Thanksgiving was not celebrated again until 1676, when the residents of Charlestown, Mass. held a celebration to commemorate their victory in the recent “War with the Heathen Natives,” to which, surprisingly, Squanto was not invited. Abraham Lincoln finally institutionalized Thanksgiving on a federal level, though before 1941, when it was set on the fourth Thursday of November, the day of celebration varied.

Now that we have had our little jaunt through American folk history, we turn toward events that are more contemporary. We began this year with the swearing-in of George W. Bush, a dark day whose silver lining includes four more years of calendars with irreverent and hysterical “Bushisms.” Even though our country has suffered through tragic natural disasters, at least we know that Iraq is nearly a bastion of democracy and freedom, a beacon of light unto others.

We can also be thankful that we now are able to brush up on our Greek, as the National Weather Service has run out of English names to give Atlantic basin hurricanes and tropical storms. In addition, the Chicago White Sox won the World Series, giving hope to perennial losers everywhere.

There is much to be thankful for indeed. We will gather around the table this week with our families satisfied that the majority party in our government is working hard to make sure there are extensive cuts to student aid packages and programs to help the working poor. So sit back, relax, enjoy the sedative properties of tryptophan and try not to think about the 30-page term paper due the week after you get back to Georgetown.

More to Discover

‘Thanks for Nothing’ in 2005

A time for turkey and stuffing, drunken cousins and an early parade put on by a company that is the world’s second-largest consumer of helium right behind your beloved Uncle Sam. This is Thanksgiving.

For you freshmen, it is an exhilarating holiday. It is probably the first time you will see your high school friends since you left for college, realize how uncool they are and that your college stories are so much better than theirs. You will also have to abide by your parents’ rules again, unless they never gave you a curfew in the first place. In that case, run wild, hold massive parties and remember to invite me (my e-mail is at the bottom of the column). For anyone staying at school over the break, it is really not that bad. You get to experience Leo’s Thanksgiving dinner with none other than President DeGioia. Remember to be nice, however, for he only earned $542,328 this year.

Thanksgiving, really, is a time to reflect on this past year, and on what makes our nation great. Before examining our current state of affairs, we should first look back to our elementary school textbooks and read how lovely the first Thanksgiving celebration actually was. Even without Martha Stewart’s “Thanksgiving Planner” and recommendations for floral arrangements, the Pilgrims and Indians managed to have a good meal. Stewart also tells us to call people to the table before serving; I suppose that, in the unlikely case that the Pilgrims and Indians didn’t know, they were not in fact eating dinner in the guest bedroom.

When the Pilgrims first landed in 1620, they had an exceedingly difficult time adjusting to the new climate and the Boston Red Sox fans. Luckily for them, a Wampanoag Indian named Squanto spoke English and taught the Pilgrims how to plant corn and tap maples for sap. Interestingly, the warm blankets Squanto received in return were not as helpful to his people as the advice Squanto gave the Pilgrims, but at least the Wampanoag found out early about smallpox. Regardless, the Pilgrims invited the remaining Native Americans to join them for festivities and a great meal with a veritable cornucopia of food.

Around this time, the Pilgrims and Indians signed a Proclamation of Peace. Sadly, things got a little dicey in the following years and the Pilgrims and their descendents were forced to systematically murder the majority of the Indian population. Thanksgiving was not celebrated again until 1676, when the residents of Charlestown, Mass. held a celebration to commemorate their victory in the recent “War with the Heathen Natives,” to which, surprisingly, Squanto was not invited. Abraham Lincoln finally institutionalized Thanksgiving on a federal level, though before 1941, when it was set on the fourth Thursday of November, the day of celebration varied.

Now that we have had our little jaunt through American folk history, we turn toward events that are more contemporary. We began this year with the swearing-in of George W. Bush, a dark day whose silver lining includes four more years of calendars with irreverent and hysterical “Bushisms.” Even though our country has suffered through tragic natural disasters, at least we know that Iraq is nearly a bastion of democracy and freedom, a beacon of light unto others.

We can also be thankful that we now are able to brush up on our Greek, as the National Weather Service has run out of English names to give Atlantic basin hurricanes and tropical storms. In addition, the Chicago White Sox won the World Series, giving hope to perennial losers everywhere.

There is much to be thankful for indeed. We will gather around the table this week with our families satisfied that the majority party in our government is working hard to make sure there are extensive cuts to student aid packages and programs to help the working poor. So sit back, relax, enjoy the sedative properties of tryptophan and try not to think about the 30-page term paper due the week after you get back to Georgetown.

More to Discover