Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Friendships That Are Here to Stay

Last May, we— the current freshmen— all signed our friends’yearbooks (and even those of people we wouldn’t have expected wanted a few words from us) with notes of love and excitement and optimism.

“Sitting next to you in bio has been so fun!”

“I loved all our crazy talks in philosophy!”

“We survived calc! Can you believe it?”

We reminisced about times passed: laughs shared, nasty teachers, embarrassing moments— all of it. We thought about how far we’d come together. There were many wishes of good luck, and in some cases, a lingering resentment over acceptances and rejections to dream schools. On graduation day, many of our parents cried, but we were all smiles as we hugged our friends, posed for photos, and made plans to make it the best summer ever — our last one together before college.

And this is where the stories diverge.

Some people, I’m sure, spent every day with their friends doing everything and doing nothing—it didn’t matter as long as they were all together. I applaud them. I wish I could say that I was one of those people, but I wasn’t. Others, I suppose, began to feel a sense of unease when they asked friends to hang out, could feel them growing more distant, could feel that things weren’t the same as they used to be. Perhaps they had even started not just responding.

And then there was me: stuck wondering if any of the friendships I had made in high school had any sort of longevity to them, and if the last four years had mattered to anyone but me. I know I wasn’t exactly holding up my end of the two-way street, working six days a week and sleeping in the off hours as much as possible. But this definitely confirmed for me that moving away and moving on was the right choice, that throwing myself into preparation for my new life was the best way to deal with this disappointment: no one seemed to care that summer was passing, the last chances to see me right along with it.

By unpacking my life in a new location with no one around to know anything about me, I could choose what memories to keep and which to discard. Choosing what photos to print and put on the wall got harder when I had to balance the good times I had had and the friendships that had fallen apart. Some people would be surprised to find themselves on my wall. Others would be upset to notice that they are conspicuously absent.

As promises to Skype, call, and text faded into periods of long absences and no communication, I’m sure we all got lonely. And maybe if you did have someone to keep in touch with, it got harder and harder to explain the ins and outs of each day when that person was somewhere different and the logistics of your lives no longer coincided. I have always loved moving, but I have always hated settling. Each time you go somewhere new, there are fewer people to help you string together the fabric of your life, and sooner or later, you’ll be the only one with all the pieces. It’s a lonely path to walk. I wouldn’t say that I got homesick, because I was ready for somewhere new to be home, but I ached with the weight of responsibility of holding onto those pieces and not having anyone help me sew the patches into a person.

Hopefully by now, you’ll have made some new friends who buoy you up and remind you of who you are and who you can be. Maybe you’re going home for break and are going to see those people who helped you become who you are, and maybe things have changed — maybe that’s okay. It’s not always a bad thing to grow and be different. Maybe looking back, you’ve had one or two friends who have stuck with you up until this point and don’t seem to be going away any time soon. Maybe you’ll reflect on all the ways your friendships have blossomed and developed over the seasons and especially this past year. Maybe all the losses along the way have been worth it to see how long and how far this person or these people will go with you, and to appreciate them every step of the way.

Cyrena Touros is a freshman in the College. The Superscript appears every other Sunday at thehoya.com.

Leave a Comment
Donate to The Hoya

Your donation will support the student journalists of Georgetown University. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Hoya

Comments (0)

All The Hoya Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *