At the guide, our staff is known for having strong opinions about pretty much everything. We’re taking stands on the pop culture issues that really matter, from tween stars to the movies that make us smile, from catchy pop songs to the stories that are dominating the Internet.
Since none of our teams made it to the Super Bowl this year — one of us had the ultimate misfortune of being an Eagles fan this season — we will not be watching what many Americans think is the sporting event of the year. Though we will miss the large amount of screaming from our common rooms and the big bowls of wings and chips with various dipping sauces, we’re actually not all that upset. Our back-up plan is so much more awesome What program could possibly take precedence over Super Bowl commercials and crazed football fans?
We’re choosing to spend our Sunday with “players” who are way cuter than Tom Brady and who haven’t been accused of murder, unless murder includes chewing dog toys. If you haven’t guessed it, we’re watching Puppy Bowl IX.
This year’s bowl boasts a lineup of 34 adorable pups, all rescues. Representing multiple breeds, each puppy has a special skill, like the “grab-a-random-toy-and-run” move. They have been preparing for this game of games for months, tirelessly playing tug-of-war at their shelters and building up protein with Beggin’ Strips. And if just watching puppies doesn’t do it for you, the kitten halftime show, hedgehog cheerleaders and a blimp full of hamsters will return for the festivities. For tired contestants, a puppy hot tub is on hand and multiple cameras, strategically hidden in toys and water bowls, are provided for maximum cuteness.
As if the Puppy Bowl couldn’t get better, one of the primary goals is to foster a positive attitude towards adopting pets, as all of the puppies and kittens are from various shelters across the country. And if a certain contestant has caught your eye — hands off the Australian Shepherd mix Aberdeen; she’s ours — each puppy’s bio will be flashed next to its picture periodically throughout the game.
Although we have to concede that the Super Bowl’s halftime show might be a bit more interesting than the cats will be — all hail Beyoncé — we can’t come up with any other ways the Puppy Bowl doesn’t trump its football counterpart. Who would want to watch a bunch of sweaty guys attacking one another when you can watch baby animals chasing their tails?
At least with puppies, we won’t have to wade our way through any more scandals and can focus on what this Sunday’s game was meant to be: a good old American pastime.