Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Love Game

CHRISTIE SHELY / THE HOYA

Heterosexual students have long been branded as complicit in a seemingly pervasive “hookup culture” on college campuses. Reminded of this stereotype, Ellen Greer (SFS ’11) laughs and says, “The hookup culture is a gift from the gays to the straights.”

“And we get monogamy from them,” retorts Albert Eisenberg (COL ’13).

Various members of Georgetown’s gay community on campus sat down with The Guide recently, painting a picture of a dynamic dating and hookup culture not much different than that of their straight counterparts.

“The stereotype for gay men is that we’re hyper-sexual and hooking up with no feelings all the time,” Eisenberg, a HOYA columnist says. “But I find the opposite to be true: that we’re more monogamous than the typical Georgetown kid.”

When it comes to gay and straight students’ going-out norms, Beth Goldberg (SFS ’12) says she doesn’t notice much of a difference in the range of options.

“Gays at Georgetown run a spectrum from enjoying quiet movie nights and dinners with their friends to wild clubbing nights out,” Goldberg explains in an email from her study abroad program in Kenya. “I think there’s a wrong stereotype that all gays love flamboyant clubbing nights and cross-dressing, et cetera. The gay dating scene at Georgetown is just as diverse as the heterosexual dating scene.”

Greer also finds common threads between LGBTQ and heterosexual dating habits.

“It’s hard to find someone to date, someone to hook up with,” Greer says. “Just like every group of people, there are those in pseudo-marriages and those who live in the hookup culture.”

Where students say the two experiences diverge, however, is in the diversity of options available — especially beyond Healy Gates.

“It may be an overgeneralization, but many gay people tend to go off campus more,” J.C. Hodges (SFS ’11) says.

Eisenberg agrees.

“There’s a very distinct group of people who go to gay clubs, but there’s a lot more who go to gay-friendly places, like U Street or Adams Morgan,” he says.

Some common places gay students head to include U Street’s Town and Nellie’s, and 21-and-older clubs Cobalt and JR. One of the most popular clubs for gay men, lesbians and straight girls looking for a place to dance is even closer to campus: Apex, located in Dupont Circle.

“If you want a random hookup, you’ll go to Apex or another club,” Laura Kresse (SFS ’12) says. “But for lesbians, personally, I have seen that most people who want a relationship look on campus.”

For lesbians and bisexual women, specifically, other nightlife options exist.

“For the over-21 scene, people who have graduated will come back to town and organize group outings,” Kresse says. “A lot of times, we’ll go to Phase 1, a lesbian club. They have Jello wrestling — it’s pretty crazy.”

For women who decide to stick to campus, there’s Ladies’ Lounge, where lesbians and bisexual women meet a few times a year to get together and reach out to younger students.

“Ladies’ Lounge is something that has been going on pretty sporadically since my freshman year,” says Greer, who identifies as a bisexual woman. “The idea is that it’s a place for lesbian and bi women to come together. Trans women would be included [more] too, but there’s just not many on campus.”

Greer plans to hold another Ladies’ Lounge in the next few weeks. Not only is the event an important way for women to meet other women of the same sexuality and interests, she says, but it also provides an outlet for younger students to get involved in the LGBTQ dating and social scene.

“There used to be a lot of GU Pride parties in past semesters, but there’s a lot fewer this year,” Greer explains. “So I don’t know how a lot of girls, especially in the younger years, find each other, but I’ve heard that several sports teams have LGBT players who will interact and introduce girls to others in the LGBT community. Ladies’ Lounge would be a good opportunity for that as well.”

With these diverse nightlife choices, a straight student might assume that members of the LGBTQ community can easily live it up in the hookup culture or find a steady mate, depending on personal preference. But like any average heterosexual student on a weekend, gay students say they aren’t always so lucky.

“Not knowing who you can flirt with or hook up with adds a further complication to the college dating culture for the LGBT community,” Greer says.

The LGBTQ community faces other obstacles besides the heteronormative assumption that most people at a typical house party in Burleith are straight. Despite the growing tolerance and acceptance of the gay community on campus, prejudices still exist.

“Pretty much everyone I know has experienced negative speech or actions on or near campus,” Lisa Frank (COL ’13) says. “There are times when it may be unsafe to walk alone holding hands with someone of the same sex.”

Greer has similar concerns.

“I’ve never actually been told I’m going to hell, but when people say to the press that they don’t approve of the LGBT community, they’re talking about me,” she explains.

Eisenberg argues that while Georgetown may be a pretty tolerant campus, especially considering its Catholic identity, there is plenty of room for improvement. The greatest deficiency is in the lack of acceptance for transgender students, he says.

“This is not a trans-friendly campus,” Eisenberg insists. “There are no gender-neutral bathrooms or gender-neutral housing [options] on campus. Trans is a whole new level and it makes a lot of people uncomfortable. I honestly don’t know anyone here who’s out as trans.”

All those interviewed hold a similar view. While a number of gay men, lesbians, bisexual and queer students find acceptance on the Hilltop, very few transgender students are out.

“And the closet is a very damaging place to live,” Eisenberg says.

These perspectives — while proof of the campus’ need for further progress — should not be misinterpreted as backwardness in the Georgetown community. Campus Pride’s Campus Climate Index, a national organization that rates colleges on LGBTQ-friendliness, gives Georgetown four out of five stars.

The high grade stems from the university’s steps to keep inclusiveness a top priority. Straight students have become much more integrated with their LGBTQ peers in recent years, and the administration has followed suit, opening an LGBTQ Resource Center in August 2008 in response to a September 2007 hate crime that sent one student to the hospital.  

“The gay community has become mainstream into the rest of the Georgetown community,” Hodges says. “For good or bad, some people feel more comfortable doing whatever they want to do in whatever organization they want to associate with, but it makes it hard to galvanize people for the LGBT community in particular.”

Greer, on the other hand, is more optimistic about the greater acceptance of the LGBTQ community — once a fringe group — in mainstream campus culture.

“I definitely agree that there is less of a consolidated, visible LGBT community today than three years ago,” Greer concedes. “Part of that could be that we’re not in the middle of an awful hate crime that, while tragic, was a catalyst for change and acceptance. Or it might be that people are more integrated, or the fact that every student organization ebbs and flows. I’m personally proud that LGBT people are more accepted and feel welcomed. But at the same time, we do need a community that we can be a part of and have fun hanging out in.”

That community, Greer suggests, can still exist — even as it pushes for broader acceptance on the Hilltop.

“Integration and fluidity in a strong LGBT community are not mutually exclusive,” she says.

While there are many differences between the heterosexual and LGBTQ dating scenes, one common point exists: sex. Among the gay male population at Georgetown, those interviewed agree that condom use is not only the norm but also a necessity.

“I always use a condom,” Eisenberg says. “The risk of STIs is such a petrifying thought in the larger gay community that I would never not use a condom.”

Lesbians and bisexual women may have a different set of needs for sexual health.

“The AIDS crisis put a big emphasis on condom use for gay men,” Hodges says. “But there are still many obstacles for lesbians and bisexual women to access protection. I mean, where does one even buy [a] dental dam? CVS?”

Greer says that protection of that sort is not very common in the female community.

“I actually don’t really know of anyone using dental dam for oral sex,” Greer says. “Maybe I’m just not aware or something, but I have never heard of anyone using such protection.”

As a bisexual woman, Greer emphasized the need to protect herself during sex with a man. “My concerns with reproductive health are very similar to straight women,” Greer says. “When I see a guy, I make sure I have protection.”

In terms of on-campus resources for sex health information and condom access, students say the university doesn’t provide adequate aid for students of all sexual orientations.

“Across the board, Georgetown does not support the reproductive health of their students,” Greer says. “Which has a lot to do with conservatism and Catholic stuff — but this affects gays, straights, everyone.”

According to Hodges, the gay community was particularly hurt by the administration’s recent budget cuts; he says the new science center won out. In the midst of trimming costs in order to get the new construction off the ground, Georgetown ended the position of sex health coordinator in the Health Education Center, Hodges said.

“Danielle DeSilvis [former sex health coordinator] did a lot of outreach to the gay community,” Hodges says. “Now, it’s up to on-campus groups, H*yas for Choice and Residence Life to make up for the loss.”

Ultimately, the struggles gay students face in their romantic lives are not so different from those of their heterosexual peers. Whether yearning for the comfort of a relationship, looking for a hookup, or seeking better sex health care, Georgetown students can find solace in the stories of one another.  

“Dating at Georgetown sucks,” Greer puts it. “We are all so busy, it’s a miracle anyone has time to date. So congrats to those of you who do — gay, straight, bi, trans — you’ve beat the odds.”

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