Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Measuring Self Worth Through Facebook

IVARSMORE.COM

They may be called friends, but the Facebook community is one of the most damaging groups to be a part of for our self esteem.
IVARSMORE.COM They may be called friends, but the Facebook community is one of the most damaging groups to be a part of for our self esteem.
IVARSMORE.COM They may be called friends, but the Facebook community is one of the most damaging groups to be a part of for our self esteem.
IVARSMORE.COM
They may be called friends, but the Facebook community is one of the most damaging groups to be a part of for our self esteem.

Did you know that happy couples on Facebook are the least liked?

That may seem twisted, and yet I’m not the least bit surprised.

I remember when I first got a Facebook account. I wanted to join a community and feel like I was a part of something. With MySpace and AIM, I didn’t feel like I was missing out, so I didn’t bother to join those networks. But with Facebook, I never felt like more of an outsider than when I didn’t have my own account.

But I didn’t anticipate that joining Facebook would essentially invite people to judge my life and evaluate my worth. Granted, that isn’t the intention of Facebook, however, beneath the surface, there’s no denying that there is an unmistakable air of critique in the social network, usually fueled by our own insecurities.

Recently I was thinking about how unrealistic a person’s Facebook profile can be — how a carefully compiled collection of photographs, biographical details, check-ins and statuses can make someone’s life seem so put together, though it may be far from perfect behind their “wall” (a term we throw around loosely that ironically can be interpreted in more than one way).

Yet we can’t help but compare ourselves to our Facebook friends. It’s not intentional, but as one of my best friends explained, many of us inadvertently use networks like Facebook to measure our self-worth. We look to the number of likes we get for validation, comparing our ratio to the next girl’s; and when we don’t measure up, we secretly wonder what it would take to be as loved and adored as she seems to be.

I say “she” because guys don’t typically obsess over social media as much as girls do, though I’m sure they deal with their fair share of Facebook drama.

Our role models and other inspirational figures remind us that we are empowered, that we should remember our worth and hold our heads up high because we are each powerful beyond measure. But despite these words of wisdom, we can’t seem to ignore the contrived importance of our follower ratio, or the average number of likes we receive on our status updates and photo uploads. For whatever reason, many of us use these numbers as indicators of how substantial our support system is, how much we are valued in the world.

What’s worse is that this particular measurement of self-worth leaves little room for progress. After all, you can’t control people’s response to your life as it is portrayed in social media. Even if you could increase your “friend” pool and strategize each post, carefully monitoring each upload and status update to meet a more socially acceptable standard, your life is what it is — you can’t decorate your day-to-day life with the glamour and variety that typically generates such a positive response on Facebook.

So for those who glean their self-worth from social media, things aren’t looking too hot. And I’m not the only one who thinks so. Times Magazine published an article about “Why Facebook Makes You Feel Bad About Yourself,” quoting some German researchers who noted:

“Overall, however, shared content does not have to be “explicitly boastful” for envy feelings to emerge. In fact, a lonely user might envy numerous birthday wishes his more sociable peer receives on his FB Wall. Equally, a friend’s change in the relationship status from “single” to “in a relationship” might cause emotional havoc for someone undergoing a painful breakup.”

That just shouldn’t be the new norm. How can we expect to break from our self-deprecating tendencies, when we keep waiting for another “thumbs up?” How can we hope to wake up each morning and go to bed each night with the understanding that we are good enough, when we continually refresh our notifications in search of validation from someone who probably doesn’t even know your favorite food or your middle name?

It’s easy to make judgments behind a computer screen, but I dare you to stop tearing yourself down, and to start breaking through those walls — the illusion must be shattered because that’s all it is . . . an illusion.

Daria Etezadi is a rising sophomore in the School of Foreign Service. Made From Scratch appears every other Monday at thehoya.com.

 

 

 

Leave a Comment
Donate to The Hoya

Your donation will support the student journalists of Georgetown University. Your contribution will allow us to purchase equipment and cover our annual website hosting costs.

More to Discover
Donate to The Hoya

Comments (0)

All The Hoya Picks Reader Picks Sort: Newest

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *