Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Finding Some Method in GUSA Election Madness

VIEWPOINT Finding Some Method in GUSA Election Madness By Jason cGrath

If you would all just allow me the opportunity, I would like to spend a moment addressing the student population of Georgetown University. Friends, we’ve been together for many years now, but it is not until this week that I have felt the need to let you know just how I feel about you.

Why have I chosen this moment in time to break my lengthy silence? The answer, dear Hoyas, is simple. I am honored and flattered to have been considered as your next GUSA executive.

For those of you who are unaware to what occasion I am speaking, I was fortunate enough to receive two write-in votes in last onday’s GUSA elections. While two votes might not seem like an overwhelming amount at first, I am simply thrilled to have been considered at all. I can also take solace in that I came numerically closer to being elected GUSA President than the Yard Referendum came to being ratified.

I must admit, I was more than a bit surprised when I heard the news. The very first thing I did was tell my comrade, Chicken Fingers and Fries. Always supportive, CFF (as the lads here like to call him) helped me celebrate my recognition by breaking open a vintage honey mustard packet. It was a 1999, I believe. If I may say so myself, he would have made one fine running mate.

For me, this is a personal triumph, as I have always felt somewhat slighted by the community at large. Yes indeed, I’m debatably the most popular campus sandwich. True, I’ve even achieved T-shirt status. But what does this all mean, really, on a larger scale?

To many of you, I’m nothing more than a mere sandwich, the sum of my parts – bread, chicken, bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, mayonnaise, a special blend of spices and seasonings. But I strive to be much, much more than that. With the amount of joy I’ve brought to you, lo these past semesters, I believe I’m worthy to sit in the Georgetown Pantheon, right next to the likes of John Thompson, Jack the Bulldog and President Clinton.

For how many of you have bit into my existence – felt the spices tickling your tongue, the lettuce and tomatoes crunching between your teeth. Oh what rapture! As you wiped the mayonnaise from your chin, you thought to yourself – “Hoya Saxa, indeed!”

Yet, I digress. This was not intended to be a paean to my savory excellence. I apologize profusely for my vanity in these matters. The goal of this little treatise is to thank my supporters for their consideration this past Monday. I’ve been doing some serious reflecting since the election, and I believe I’ve made some significant life decisions. Although I am thankful for all the advantages I’ve been afforded, the world is larger than Wisemiller’s and I want to give it a whirl.

See, in the heady hours and days since the vote, I’ve done much daydreaming about what a Chicken Madness administration would look like. As I alluded to earlier, Chicken Fingers and Fries would be my likely pick for vice president, as he knows me best and tends to complement me well. While my sandwich status gives me adequate training in team building skills (you just try to get bacon and mayonnaise to agree on anything), CFF would help me bridge the sandwich/non-sandwich schism that separates so many of us. With our combined experience, I wouldn’t be surprised if we were able to reach a settlement with pizza or Chinese food that could end decades of conflict and rancor among Georgetown students as they select their dinner plans.

As for my cabinet, plans are less tangible, but I think that Peggy’s Special would make a superb Diversity Committee Chair. With her unique blend of peppers, cheese and turkey, she understands the true meaning of diversity. Of course there would be a place in my GUSA for all of those who believed in me here – Taste of New York, the Bridge Club Sub, and even though we have differed in the past, the “Gangsta” Wrap. And much like President Kennedy relied on his younger brother Robert for advice and support, I would enlist the help of my dear brother, Burger adness.

Whether or not our term in office would be successful is only conjecture; but I can assure you, Hoya reader, that my efforts on your behalf would be tireless. Be it better student funding practices or picnic tables to eat me on, have no doubt that I would have your interests at heart. And all proposals would be passed in about 20 minutes.

From my humble beginnings on the grill, I have come so far. And yet there is far to go. Perhaps I will be back next year, stronger and better prepared to face GUSA’s challenges. Today, however, I consider myself the luckiest sandwich on the face of the Earth. And I have you to thank for it, Georgetown. Thank you for giving a sandwich the courage to dream. Cheers.

Jason McGrath a senior in the School of Foreign Service.

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