Over-Activists Underappreciated
By Marshall Van Valen
Oh, look – there’s a new cause on campus. It has been discovered that the native French Polynesian three-toed toad monkeys are being given harmful hangnails by big, mean corporations. What to do? What to do? We must mount a campaign against the evil, faceless companies that endanger the well-being of these cuddly toad monkeys.
However, this is not the problem. The real problem are those perennial joiners who just have to jump on the bandwagon of meaningless causes.
I really thought that this phenomenon would end when everyone was finally accepted by his or her favorite college, but it obviously has not. Admittedly, most of us were somewhat prone to this horrible habit in high school, but we have gotten over the need to be involved in anything and everything.
We all know one of these people who must be involved in every cause as long as there is a crowd to see him or her there. These are the people you see handing out the inane fliers in Red Square about the plight of the French Polynesian toad monkeys. These people get involved in popular causes simply for the need to be involved. The issues do not affect their lives nor are they things that people strongly support or oppose. If they did not pester other students, everything would be fine. Campus life would be much more relaxing if we were not attacked every time we cross the hallowed ICC archway in Red Square. Besides, even former Supreme Court Justice Louis D. Brandeis believed that “the right to be let alone is the most comprehensive of rights and the right most valued in civilized man.”
If these people truly wish to effect change, they should devote themselves to those causes that are closer to home or which directly affect others. Unfortunately, these over-activists are the people that really annoy those of us who like to be able to walk through Red Square without having leaflets shoved in our direction. I, for one, will get involved with an issue if it affects me. So leave those alone who wish to be alone. Those interested will come of their own volition.
That being said, I have a revolutionary idea to solve this nagging problem. I have noticed how the campus administration has been trying to eliminate waste by eliminating fliers; I propose that the university do the same for these over-activists. We should look into some sort of robot that can shriek out trite phrases like “Fight, fight, fight!” and “Can you justify the plight of the French Polynesian toad monkeys?”
Another solution could be to designate one person per year to be involved in every single campus cause; that way, we would be able to know who to ignore. Maybe the university could wire all the dorms so that annoying reminders about “getting involved” can be played on a 24-hour loop.
But if we have to deal with over-activists, the university should supply us with earplugs and the like so that we can go on with our own lives. All of this follows along the lines of H. L. encken’s assertion that “Men are the only animals that devote themselves, day in and day out, to making one another unhappy. It is an art like any other. Its virtuosi are called altruists.”
Do not think me apathetic or insensitive, but I do object to the incessant championing of causes which falsely represent the importance of involvement in a cause. As David Riesman poignantly stated, “Students would be much better off if they could take a stand against taking a stand.”
People who join a cause simply to join a cause take something away from its nobility. I think that everyone should go out and help effect change in what is important. However, the line between what is important and what is not is at times blurred. Contrary to popular belief, GUSA elections do not make the world go round, and toad-monkeys with hangnails do not suffer that much.
Try to keep things in a proper perspective. The important things in life involve friends, family and what episode of “Law & Order” will be on TV tonight.
Oh, and if I forgot to mention it, leave me alone.
Marshall Van Valen is a sophomore in the School of Foreign Service.