Dear Amy <3<3,

So one of my new semester resolutions this year was to work out more. Finally, after about a week of building up the courage, I finally went last weekend and immediately saw the cutest boy I have ever seen in my life. He didn’t notice me doing my rounds on the elliptical but I was so in love I fell off the machine onto some poor girl who definitely should’ve noticed that I was distracted and gotten out of the way. Thing is, I don’t want to talk to him at Yates; I’m afraid he’s the type who doesn’t like girls who work out because it undermines his manliness. To make things even worse, I’ve never seen him anywhere but at the gym! It’s like totally a major problem because he’s gorg. What should I do? Please help!!!

Sincerely,

Sweaty, And Not Because I’m At The Gym

Dear Sweaty,

First, good for you for working out and getting to Yates, that elliptical doesn’t stand a chance, and apparently neither did that girl you fell on. I hope she’s not in the hospital or something. Think about sending a card. Second, you really shouldn’t be afraid of undermining your gym cutie’s manliness – that’s his issue, not yours. Now, that being said, I usually avoid any pick-ups that involve Yates, Leo’s or Lau. I wouldn’t really consider them romantic spots. Sweat stains and skin-tight Lycra? That’s only hot if you’re a Kardashian or something. But, if it is driving you crazy and you are feeling like a more empowered, confident girl, then the worst that can come of it is a funny story.

XOXO,

Amy

Hey Amy,

So I think I definitely have a problem. I’m a freshman on campus, which means I go to Leo’s pretty much on a daily basis. It’s so weird, though, because everyone complains about how bad it is and whatever, except for me. To be super honest I actually love going to Leo’s. I mean, it’s SO good. Like when my boyfriend of six years from high school visits next week, I”m taking him there. It’d be so romantic, us standing in line for pasta, maybe sharing a chicken sandwich downstairs, talking all through the night over a bowl of that soft broccoli that’s always next to the pizza.

All my friends think I’m crazy. Sometimes, I catch myself going to Leo’s in disguise so that they won’t recognize me there, but I’m running out of wigs and colored contact lenses, so that won’t be an option anymore. I’m afraid of being honest and telling everyone how much I love going there, because I want to keep all these new friends I have.

What should I do?? Please help!!

Eager For A Bowl of Cincinnati Chili Right Now

Dear Eager,

I love to eat stale Peeps, even when it’s mid October and my friends think that’s weird. Do you think I care? No! Have I fallen asleep with Nutella on my bedside table? Yes! Everyone likes different types of food and if you love Leo’s, you should actually embrace it. Many people find it difficult to fully enjoy O’Donnovan’s on the waterfront, so the fact that you can is actually something to be proud of. I’m not sure if you have to flaunt the fact that you would dine at the caf every day for every meal because people will probably get annoyed that they don’t have the ability to love the Home Section as much as you can. I suggest dropping the disguise but stop talking about it. Moreover, try to branch out just a little bit. If your friends want a break from Leo’s to try Epi’s sushi bar, go with them! It’s all about balance, my Leo’s Loving friend, no matter how much you adore that broccoli.

xxo,

Ams

Amy is an eighth year student majoring in High Yield Staple-Gunning and Political Cartoon Theory in the McCourt School of Public Policy. Originally hailing from the eastern province of Qaqortoq, Greenland, she has traveled the world absorbing culture, leading protests, and, as always, hunting for the perfect man to clean her pool, mix her drinks, and model her upcoming line of faux-fur compression shorts.