Big Announcement: The Hilltoss Now Has Smoothies

Everyone’s favorite on-campus hipster salad storefront has gotten even better, healthier and more colorful. Hilltoss now sells smoothies, and they are rad.

Each smoothie was built upon a concept and designed to represent a place in the world. The smoothies were carefully crafted by a diligent team of taste testers, striving to create new and different flavor combinations to produce the best smoothie possible.

4E, in our quest for truth and research, was given the opportunity to sample the five new and innovative fruit concoctions now available for purchase.

Here’s a rundown of the flavors:

The Rock

Ingredients: oat milk, Greek yogurt, banana, spinach, coconut sugar and vanilla whey protein

The Rock is based on a classic protein shake, but the ingredient combination gives it a sweet, vanilla milkshakey flavor.
Who should order it: Are you looking to get yoked? Do you look like this every time you go to Yates?
With 40 grams of protein, The Rock is the smoothie for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Coconut sugar is made from the sap of the flowers of coconut trees.

Eloise

Ingredients: almond milk, coconut water, orange juice, Greek yogurt, banana, blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, agave and flaxseed

The Eloise was the most smoothie-like smoothie of all the samples. It tasted like your classic strawberry banana smoothie.
Who should order it: Order the Eloise if you like to stick to the basics.
Obscure ingredient fact: Flaxseed was grown in Babylon as early as 3000, and Charlemagne passed laws requiring his subjects to eat it.

Ipanema
Ingredients: coconut milk, coconut water, Greek yogurt, coconut meat, pineapple and agave

The Ipanema tasted like a piña colada (minus the alcohol and regrettable decisions). If you love coconut, get the Ipanema.
Who should order it: If you chug coconut juice like there’s no tomorrow and have daydreams about the beach, the Ipanema is for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Coconuts were named by Portuguese sailors who thought the three holes on the coconut looked like a face. “Coco” means “grinning face.”

Ashram
Ingredients: orange juice, pineapples, strawberries, wheatgrass, goji powder, spirulina and emergen-c

The Ashram was my personal favorite. Despite the dark green color, which suggests scary vegetables, the Ashram was very refreshing. It also has emergen-c to get you through your winter stuffy-nose blues.
Who should order it: If you’re looking to cure your cold or just want to promote your health-conscious image while drinking a fantastic smoothie, the Ashram is for you.
Obscure ingredient fact: Spirulina is the culprit for the dark green color. It’s a cyanobacteria that comes from fresh water lake moss.

Central Perk
Ingredients: coffee, chocolate almond milk, almond milk, banana, dates, cacao powder, cinnamon and coconut sugar.

The Central Perk is a game changer for everyone who loves their Starbucks frappuccinos. It has a strong cinnamon flavor, and was similar to a coffee milkshake.
Who should order it: If you love coffee and can’t get enough of your non-fat caramel frappuccino with extra whipped cream and chocolate sauce, give the Central Perk a try. Also, who among us is strong enough to resist Friends references?
Obscure ingredient fact: Contrary to popular belief, almond milk is not made by milking almonds.