The Ten Commandments of Senior Year:
1. You shall have no other bars before Tombs.
Yes, you should actually take advantage of other bars in D.C. and hang with some of the yopros to see a glimpse into your future (it’s the same thing as college but with nicer drinks). However, Tombs should always be number one in your heart. On a serious note, where else can you get cheesy tots with your dirty girl scout shot?
2. You shall not make out with freshmen.
When you were a freshman, you might’ve thought that DFMOing with a senior would’ve been the highlight of your friend group for the next few months. Now that you’re a senior, you recognize that it’ll be the laughing joke of your friend group until graduation. I’m not deterring you from reliving Club Lau or Brown House (in fact, you will definitely see me at both), but maybe avoid any conversations starting with “Do you live in (insert freshmen dorm here)” or “Are you in my Macroecon lecture?”
3. You shall not take the name of John/Jack in vain.
This is a blanket statement of all of the Johns and Jacks out there – John Carroll, President DeGioia and Jack the Bulldog. If you accidentally step on the seal before graduation, don’t curse John Carroll. If Bradley Cooper skips our graduating class to speak in Gaston, don’t blame President DeGioia (hint, hint @Bradley and @DeGioia). If we don’t juice ‘Cuse yet again, don’t yell at the mascot.
4. Remember 99 Days, to keep it a tradition. In it you shall check in at Tombs every day.
99 Days Club is equal parts money-draining, commitment and tradition. Try to focus on the last two. I’ve heard employers appreciate commitment and tradition, so what better way to demonstrate it to them! Money can’t buy happiness but it can buy you a well-deserved spot on the 99 Days Club plaque.
5. Honor your liver and your stomach.
Do you remember the last time you did Edward Fortyhands? The answer is likely no. You should aim to make memories this year and wake up the next morning to remember them all (the only memory that is acceptable to forget is that slice from Eat & Joy on your walk home). Likewise, take advantage of your last year having a completely free gym membership. After graduation, you have to pay for the luxury of the elliptical machine and endlessly great people watching. No matter what the #dadbod trend says, you don’t want to graduate with a beer belly underneath your gown.
6. You shall not murder your GPA.
For the past three years, you’ve worked hard to maintain or bring up your grades where you don’t actually have to lie about it to your (nagging and loving) parents. Congratulations on your job offers and signed contracts , but sadly, yes, you still have to do the required reading and participate in your group projects (@MSB). Nothing feels as bad as the harsh reality of losing honors after three years on the Dean’s List.
7. You shall not commit to adulthood.
The real world awaits you, but it’s also not going anywhere. Senior year is the final year when it is socially acceptable to wear leggings as pants, carry around a backpack everywhere without looking like a wannabe hipster, and plan parties and pre-games with multiple themes and subthemes. No one likes the Debbie Downer who reminds everyone how “things are going to be different” or how you can brunch without bottomless mimosas.
8. You shall not steal from Leo’s.
I’ll admit that I might’ve taken one too many bananas and a cup (or five) from Leo’s in the past. However, now that I no longer even have a meal plan, I’ll already feel #blessed when I find a friend to swipe me in for CFT. I will take full advantage of post-meal fro-yo with extra toppings. However, I will return all of my silverware because full-fledged adulthood is on the horizon and it’s about time and I bought myself decent (aka Ikea) dinnerware.
9. You shall not bear false identification.
Although not everyone has yet turned twenty-fun, I mean twenty-one (autocorrect), it’s time to retire the “Jack Hoya” and “Jane Hoya” IDs. For those who have already turned twenty-one, you should’ve already put those days behind you. For the remaining underage seniors, your time will come. The perks of turning twenty-one late: the best Tombs night ever. No one has to take your picture and then turn around home. Bouncer is to letting people in as Oprah is to giving away free cars. EVERYBODY WINS.
10. You shall not covet the freshmen’s new experiences on the Hilltop.
You had a great four (or maybe five) year run at Georgetown. If you’re sticking around at Georgetown Med or Georgetown Law, then please don’t become the “creepy alum” who talks to the freshmen moving in reminiscing when they met their CHARMS roommate or still shows up to club meetings. For those who move away from Georgetown, the District, or even America, you’ve already physically left and now it’s also time to metaphorically move on. Don’t worry though, Homecoming is always just around the corner.
Photos/Gifs: https://myctrring.com/
