In the iconic words of “Love Island,” a hot new bombshell has entered The Hoya’s opinion section. 

For those of you who don’t know me, I’m Caroline, and I give pretty good advice — at least, that’s what my friends tell me. I’m bringing my talents to The Hoya to answer your questions, big or small.  Whether you’ve got daily concerns to share or the darkest secrets to spill, send them my way (anonymously!), and I’ll do my best to answer them.

I have a conundrum. My roommate and I are friendly. We chat in our room about our days when we both get back from class, but we never go beyond anything surface-level and we have a lot of long silences. I’m comfortable with how we live together and I’m okay with not talking all the time, but I’m not sure if that’s comfortable for her, even though she seems to be more introverted than me. Should I put more effort into this relationship and try to talk more, or am I overthinking how she feels? 

When you think about trying to become better friends with your roommate, it’s important to think about what your motives are. Would you be doing it because you’re genuinely interested in being friends or because you’re worried she feels uncomfortable? If you truly want to get to know her better, you can always invite her to something low stakes — like grabbing a coffee — and see how she responds. If you’re just worried that she feels awkward about the silence, I wouldn’t let that bother you. She might appreciate not constantly having to hold a conversation, especially if she’s introverted. If you view your room as a place to decompress and escape some of the pressure to talk all the time, the long silences might actually be comfortable. You don’t have to be best friends with your roommate — the most important thing is that you live well together. If you like the way you’re living with her now, just keep things light and friendly.

So I’ve been seeing this guy for a couple of weeks and I really like him. I wanted to invite him to my birthday with a big group of my friends last week, but I was worried it was too soon, so I didn’t. He found out about the party from my friend’s post a couple of days ago, and he seemed kind of upset that I didn’t invite him. Now things are a little weird between us because he won’t say what’s wrong and I’m not sure what I should do. 

Honestly, I don’t think there’s any reason for him to be upset. Knowing someone for a couple of weeks isn’t long enough to expect an invitation. More importantly, it’s your party, so you can invite whoever you want. It’s never fun to find out you weren’t invited to something, but he needs to be an adult and figure out how to communicate his feelings instead of sulking. In fact, don’t be afraid to call him out on his behavior! Ask him directly if there’s something wrong, and see how he responds. If he’s huffy and indignant or won’t give you a straight answer, pay attention to that. If he can be honest about his hurt feelings and is willing to talk things through, there’s no reason you can’t work this out together. Having a conversation about what you both expect in social situations like these can go a long way and can actually be an opportunity to get to know him a little better. Finally, tell your friends to watch what they post — it’s causing you relationship drama!

I started dating my girlfriend recently and it’s going really well, but I’ve been spending a lot of time with her and I don’t see my friends as much. I’m starting to miss them, and I don’t know how to balance spending time with them and also seeing my girlfriend.

Balancing different relationships can be tough. It’s easy to feel the need to prioritize your girlfriend, but relationships with your friends are just as important. Reach out to your friends (they probably miss you!) and find a few weekly times to get lunch, grab a drink or just hang out. If you make an effort to schedule some activities, soon it’ll become natural to spend part of your day with them and part of it with your girlfriend. Tell your girlfriend how you’ve been feeling as well — a conversation between the two of you can help clarify expectations of how you two spend your time and prevent any hard feelings. Who knows — she might be missing her friends too!

I think I have a crush on my therapist. She’s a really good listener and I love talking to her. She always knows what to say and I feel like I have a real connection with her. What should I do?

Find a new therapist! 

Caroline Brown is a junior in the College of Arts & Sciences. This is the first installment of her column “Calling in With Caroline.”

Anonymously submit your questions and concerns to Caroline!