“Uhununu nylon nunduda, ALABAMA!” If you saw Jon Wallace’s improbable three-pointer during Monday’s definition of a “tough loss” to the Panthers of Pittsburgh and their incessantly chanting student section, you undoubtedly heard this spasm of glee from ESPN color commentator Bill Raftery. y best guess at translating Raftery’s exclamation, aided by the magic of DV-R, comes out to, “Nothing but nylon . for Alabama.” I’m pretty sure he was going somewhere with the “nothing but nylon” thing, and then changed midstream when something in his brain reminded him that Wallace hailed from Alabama. This threw a wrench in the works, and what resulted was as incoherent as it was poetic. y far-less substantiated conspiracy theory, substantiated by almost five minutes of Wikipedia research, is the only possible explanation for a nylon-Alabama connection. Perhaps Raftery was making some kind of stab at the stagnant economy of the senior guard’s home state, where cotton, a product that has been replaced by nylon for many of its military and industrial uses since World War II, dominates the economy and agriculture. Bill seems like a nice guy though, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Raftery has always been a fixture in college basketball, but with the two-month leave of absence for ESPN number-one Dick Vitale, college fans have recently seen a lot more of the former Seton Hall coach. Like Vitale without the Coach K crush or Bill Walton without the hallucinogens, Raftery combines years of basketball experience with a truly unique personality: a personality that is certainly worth a closer look. Raftery hails from New Jersey, where he excelled as an all-state athlete in three sports. His best sport, not surprisingly, was basketball, and Raftery followed up his high school exploits with an excellent college career at La Salle. For those that may confuse Raftery’s poor enunciation for a lack of intelligence, he actually earned a Masters degree in education from Seton Hall, and the university even gave him an honorary doctorate in 2001. After earning his masters, Raftery went on to coach golf and basketball at Fairleigh Dickinson University. Always a New Jersey man, Raftery moved just 21 miles south to make a name for himself at Seton Hall, where he won the Coach of the Year award from the New Jersey Basketball Writers Association in 1979. In 1982, Raftery walked away from the Pirates to enter private business and join the CBS sports team. Along with fellow New Jersey native Dick Vitale, Raftery has been the face of college hoops commentary for over 20 years. Along the way, he has developed a repertoire of expressions, witticisms and one-liners unmatched in sports broadcast. Raftery’s two trademark lines, “With the dagger” and “.with a kiss,” have been adopted by color commentators across the country. His instructions for crossed-over defenders to “Pick up the lingerie!” and announcements of “Panties on the deck!” have not. Perhaps his other phrases have not caught on quite as much because they lose their appeal without his unique delivery. Like a drunken man on speed, Raftery gets his exclamations out with a mix of slurring, screaming and hurrying that is impossible to duplicate. Despite some pronunciation difficulties, Raftery has made a very successful career for himself. Just the honor of having Raftery speak at your corporate event or conference (or graduation ’09?) will cost you between $10,000 and $20,000, which is actually a good deal considering you would have to pay Raftery’s boring CBS buddy Jim Nantz between $20,000 and $30,000 to hear about how much he cherishes the Masters. Along with his public speaking duties, Raftery served as the New Jersey Nets color commentator. Before the YES Network let him go in order to hire a more full-time company man, Raftery was pulling double duty during March. One Sports Illustrated article chronicled Raftery’s own version of March Madness when, in a span of 31 days, Raftery covered 26 basketball games in 14 different cities. Raftery does have his detractors. One New York Times writer, referring to his color commentary of Nets games, said Raftery was like a “Little League father shouting instructions from the sidelines” and commented that Raftery could be heard audibly sighing into his microphone when the game didn’t go the Nets’ way. For a man that has made his life in Garden State basketball, a little sighing now and then must be forgiven. When the more “popular” Vitale returns to the booth, I, for one, will miss the big guy. You won’t see Raftery dunking in DiGiorno commercials or constantly bouncing in place like an exploded Jack in the Box. No, Raftery is more subdued. For 99 percent of the game he lies in wait, saving his strength for just the right moment to rise up in his seat and nonsensically shout, “The bounce to ecstasy!” Jamie Leader is a junior in the College. He can be reached at leaderthehoya.com FOLLOW THE LEADER appears every other Friday in HOYA SPORTS.