Adrienne Lavallee, a lawyer and representative of My Sister’s Place, an organization committed to fighting against domestic violence, addressed a forum of more than a dozen undergraduate women seeking insight on the mechanics of healthy relationships at a forum Tuesday that was part of GUSA’s Health, Safety and Justice Week.

“No one deserves to be a victim,” she said, describing domestic violence as something defined in terms of control.

Domestic violence is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, she said. “It happens when one person believes he or she is entitled to control another,” Lavallee said.

Among several warning signs cited by Lavallee as indicative of an unhealthy relationship were drug use, emotional volatility and defensiveness.

“Chemical abuse is extremely common among the abused. Self-medication is oftentimes the only way a victim feels he or she can effectively cope,” she said.

Additionally, many victims engage in overcompensation to counteract a sense of worthlessness impressed upon them by their abusers.

“Perfectionism is undoubtedly prevalent among victims. They’re in constant pursuit of ways to make up for their shortcomings,” she said. Other indications include a change in appetite, energy and sleep patterns

Lavallee emphasized that domestic violence can take many forms, including emotional, sexual and economic abuse. It is important to recognize that physical abuse, although the most overt type, is not the only type, she said.

“Verbal abuse, due to its varying degrees of severity, is arguably the most insidious. Regardless of how the behavior is manifested, it is almost always used to maintain fear, intimidation and power,” she said. “Not all of these behaviors – such as emotional abuse – are against the law. But none of them is acceptable.”

In all cultures, the perpetrators are most commonly men, and women are usually the victims of violence. Inevitably, the next question was where one crosses the line into committing domestic violence.

One anonymous participant voiced that an act in itself is not necessarily unhealthy. “Having to call your boyfriend before hanging out with friends could merely mean you had made plans with him beforehand,” she said. “It’s not `checking in’ on an unhealthy level.”

Lavallee agreed, emphasizing that examining motivation within the parameters of a relationship is crucial.

In noting characteristics of a batterer, Lavallee pointed out that people who abuse come from all class backgrounds, races and religions. There is no “typical” abuser, she added.

“More often than not, he will perceive a lack of control in his own life that will induce him to lash out on those over whom he has control,” Lavallee said.

Abusers usually have a low self-esteem and oftentimes have poor relationships with the women in their lives, including past girlfriends or family members.

Before concluding her presentation, Lavallee spoke of the university setting as a hotbed for abusive relationships.

“Dealing with your first serious relationship at an impressionable age here [at] Georgetown necessitates that you protect yourself from potentially life-damaging situations,” she said, before urging all women to spread the word and be aware. “We’re in this together.”

The event was co-sponsored by Health Education Services, Georgetown University Men Advocating for Responsible Relationships and Take Back the Night.