I have been thoroughly assimilated into a culture of cellular communication. I love my cell phone.

Last year, I thought of cell phones as “conceited boxes” carried exclusively by “Euros” and construction worker types. I thought of them as the second coming of “beepers,” a tacky means of omnipresent correspondence. Boy, was I wrong.

Electronic messaging, heard of it? Probably not because we call it e-mail. In my world “e-mail” has become “mail.” And “my cell phone” has become “my phone.” Technology has dictated which device is standard. No longer the envelope and stamp. No longer the rotary wheel and springed cord. Now we have newer, better forms of communication.

Sure, sometimes I have to mail my credit card bill to Citibank, only when I don’t feel like filling in the online form. And, yes, sometimes I use a landline to make a call. But in the grand scheme of things, landlines are going to be connected to DSL, envelopes are going to become extinct, and cell phone users are going to conquer the earth. Well, maybe that’s a step too far, but cell phones are here to stay, baby.

Whenever I call my parents on my way from work to the Metro (which I could never do from a standard phone), they act as if I have chopped off my third finger to make the call.

“Oh, you’re calling from your cell. Maybe we should call you back later. Doesn’t it cost you a fortune?”

My parents don’t quite understand the convenience and affordability of cellular communication. They don’t have ATM cards either. My brother got them a cordless phone for Christmas.

I have a lot of Sprint PCS minutes, and, of course, they are trying to run some scam to make me feel like I have a million more than I really do. But they’re businessmen, and if the cDonough School of Business has taught me anything it’s that if you can trick someone into giving you more money that they think they are, go for it. So I don’t blame them.

I use my cell phone more than I ever would have imagined when I got it. I use it all the time.

Lost in the district? Call a friend who knows his way around the city. Got split up from your friends in a crowd? Break out your phone and reunite. Too many aisles in Target? What the hell, give the people you got split up from a ring. It’s that easy.

Now, I don’t have to answer my phone at home. Ever.

My roommates and I have a pretty good unspoken system. If the phone rings and you feel like talking, answer it. If you don’t feel like talking to someone who wants to talk to another roommate, let it go and they’ll call someone’s cell phone right after. I no longer register my home phone while I’m sleeping. I hear it. It wakes me up. I wait for it to stop ringing, and I go back to bed. If my cell phone were to ring right after, then I’d know it was for me.

I now have all my important phone numbers in one place. I have a Palm Pilot. I don’t use it. I have a cell phone, which I regularly use for communication, so where better to keep phone numbers.

I no longer need a watch. Sprint PCS keeps excellent time. It changes for daylight savings and, with Indiglo, I can read it in the dark. Last week, the power was out from 9 a.m. until 3 p.m., and I had to wake up for class. My alarm clock was no good, so from 9 a.m.(when the power outage woke me up) until 9:30 a.m., I slept with my phone in my hand so I could check the time whenever I was worried.

I haven’t yet begun putting it under my pillow at night, but that might be next. Cell phones are unbelievably useful and necessary in today’s world. If you disagree or want to give me some feedback on the usefulness of these devices, give me a call on my cell phone. I’m always available.

Joe Harten is a senior in the McDonough School of Business and Viewpoint Editor of The Hoya.