Maybe it’s the incongruous marriage of Hollywood and Canton. Or maybe it’s having two weeks of airtime to fill, not a lot to talk about, and Chris Berman, Paris Hilton and Deion Sanders all on the premises and willing to comment. Whatever it is, something happens in the time surrounding Super Bowl Sunday, and it brings out the absolute worst in people. Bizarre things happen. Professional journalists act like Tom Brady is Paul McCartney and they are 14-year-old-girls on Ed Sullivan. Paul McCartney stoops to the level of the Artist Formerly Known As Prince and lip-synchs through an endless halftime show while thousands of dancers adorned in sequins and spandex sway to and fro around him. The NFL decides P. Diddy and Tara Reid are more worthy of a ticket than the Packer Backer who sat shirtless through the -10 windchill playoff game. But some acts go above and beyond. Here are three head-to-head, cataclysmic, no-holds-barred, insert-your favorite-hyperbolic-cliché-here matchups of past Super Sunday stupidity. Dumbest night-before behavior: Cincinnati Bengals running back Stanley Wilson snorts up before Super Bowl XXIII vs. Atlanta Falcons safety Eugene Robinson, giving new meaning to the “Dirty Bird” the night before XXXVIII. The night before Wilson’s Bengals’ big game against Joe Montana and the San Francisco 49ers, Wilson asked to be excused from a team meeting to retrieve his playbook from his hotel room. Wilson was later found barely conscious in the shower, wired on enough cocaine to kill Darryl Strawberry. Since partying like Pablo Escobar one night doesn’t exactly translate into running like Jim Brown the next, Cincinnati benched Wilson and took one in the nose, losing 20-16 on a fourth-quarter Montana comeback drive. A decade later, Robinson, a Pro Bowl veteran and leader, was arrested on the eve of Super Bowl XXXIII in a seedy section of Miami after offering $40 to an undercover police officer posing as a prostitute. Although he managed to get bailed out of jail and back into the starting lineup, he might as well have just stayed in the slammer. Robinson was torched for an 80-yard touchdown in the second quarter, broke his finger in the third, and was grilled by every media outlet on the planet after a lopsided Falcons loss. “I was extremely focused on the game today,” Robinson said, after admitting he had only slept a few hours. “It didn’t affect my play because it was pretty much therapeutic.” Winner: Robinson, but only because he had been honored by a religious group for displaying “high moral character” earlier in the day, and spent much of the week before the Super Bowl preaching about his “strong faith.” Too sad to be in the running, but too bizarre to go unmentioned: A possible third contestant in this category, Oakland Raiders’ center Barret Robbins – who spent the Saturday before Super Bowl XXXVII in a Tijuana cantina crawling inside a bottle of tequila – was disqualified because it was later discovered Robbins suffered from bi-polar disorder and had inexplicably stopped taking his medication in the days leading up to the Raiders’ clash with Tampa Bay. Robbins did not play in the Bucs’ 48-21 victory, and was charged with attempted felony murder after a spat with a police officer in 2005. Dumbest in-game move: Fridge freezes Sweetness out of the end zone in XX vs. Leon Lett’s premature celebration in Super Bowl XXVII. On football’s grandest stage in 1986, Chicago Bears coach Mike Ditka chose to hide Walter Payton, the game’s most graceful runner, behind the curtain. Iron Mike let everyone – fullback Matt Suhey, quarterback Jim McMahon, DEFENSIVE LINEMAN WILLIAM “THE REFRIGERATOR” PERRY – score while running up a 46-10 score on the hapless New England Patriots. Everyone that is, except of course for Payton, who had carried the Bears to the Big Easy with his hard-charging rushing style. Perry’s logroll into the end zone was almost as ugly as . Watching Lett, all 292 pounds of him, arms outstretched and doing his best Carl Lewis impersonation, rumbling towards the end zone after recovering a fourth-quarter fumble. Then, out of nowhere, Buffalo Bills wide receiver Don Beebe chasing down the Dallas defensive lineman, knocking the ball free and costing Lett his first and only chance at scoring a touchdown in the NFL. The Cowboys went on to win 52-17, but Lett’s gaffe made him look like a lobotomized penguin in front of five million people. Winner: Draw. Both of these monumental mistakes were performed by plus-sized men in late in blow-out victories. Both Ditka and Lett let their fat-kid-in-a-candy-store emotions get the best of them, and both acts were equally egregious. They are both responsible for America’s problem with obesity, and may God have mercy on their souls. Dishonorable mention: A last-second field goal miss kills the Bills in XXV and ruins the rest of kicker Scott Norwood’s life; Thumbless Miami Dolphins kicker Garo Yepremian’s attempting to throw a football for the first time in his life during VII. Dumbest half-time performance: XXV, featuring New Kids on the Block, an assortment of Disney characters and Warren Moon vs. Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” in XXXVIII. Yes, you read that lineup correctly. The 1991 halftime show must have been planned by manatees or someone pulling pop culture icons out of a hat at random. How else does one explain a performance featuring a talent-less boy band, Mickey and Goofy and the quarterback of the Houston Oilers? This was one straight out of “Family Guy.” Everyone remembers Justin, Janet and the day the FCC died. In case you missed it, I am sure it’s still floating around on YouTube. Winner: NKOTB, Walt and Warren. Timberlake’s grope-job was priceless, but the `Kids blazed the trail through the teen-bop forest `N Sync would follow years later. And Warren Moon! Honorable should never-be-mentioned: Michael Jackson and a bunch of schoolchildren singing “Heal the World” in XXVII. This should be the actual winner, but I didn’t want to even think about what happened after that show. So there you go. Winners, please step up to the podium, where Terry Bradshaw will slug you in the head with the Lombardi Trophy. But don’t dawdle – the short bus to Disney World is leaving momentarily. Harlan Goode is a senior in the College. He can be reached at goodethehoya.com. The Goode Worde appears every Friday in HOYA SPORTS.