Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Will Pacman Change in Rehab’ No, No, No.

Chris Rock once said, “There’s no rehab for stupidity,” and this should serve as a reminder to those who saw any significance in Monday’s revelation that Cowboy Adam “Pacman” Jones was headed to rehab.

According to Cowboys owner Jerry Jones, Pacman entered a rehab facility to begin an alcohol addiction program that will be monitored by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell and could go a long way toward getting the embattled former Mountaineer reinstated, again, after his newest suspension ends in four weeks.

Jones’ suspension, inspired by at least his 13th police incident since being drafted in 2005, is his first since his 16-month suspension that ended in late August resulting from his involvement in a Las Vegas triple shooting which paralyzed a bouncer. Seems like Pacman managed to get back into trouble before he got back into playing form.

No doubt Jerry Jones, and the more optimistic Pacman fans, will argue that this trip to rehab shows that this latest suspension was the wake-up call he needed to seek help for what was surely an alcohol addiction.

Jones may have an alcohol problem, but I’m far more inclined to blame other things when somebody:

– gets listed in a nightclub brawl police report five days after being drafted

– is arrested just three months later for another night club fight

– gets in trouble with the West Virginia parole board for failing to contact his parole officer and report his earlier arrest

– is caught on tape in a late-night gas station brawl that results in shots fired

– is accused of spitting on two women in three months

– whose name was on the registration, and engraved on the front seats, of a car that was seized by police as being a part of a drug ring that resulted in jail time for its members

– is found in a hotel room with marijuana that is quickly claimed by a friend

– starts a brawl in Las Vegas that results in a triple shooting and paralysis for the bouncer

– who, while suspended by the NFL, is accused of punching a woman in the face at a night club.

Looking at all this, Adam Jones’ problems seem to be anger management, disrespecting women and choosing friends poorly. Unless you are going to make the argument that in each of these incidents it was inebriation that caused his indiscretion, alcohol rehab seems pretty far down the list of things this guy should be working on.

But of course the issue is not working on Adam Jones, it is working on Adam Jones’ public image. During every step of Jones’ reinstatement proceedings, the League did its best to appear completely fine with Adam Jones never playing football again, but his return to the League was never really in doubt.

The League approved the trade that sent Jones to the Cowboys, a team known for rehabbing troubled players, and when the season began, the commissioner partially reinstated him on the assumption that he would, “continue the personal conduct program established for him by the NFL and the Cowboys and . avoid further adverse involvement with law enforcement.”

Pacman brought glamour and excitement to the Cowboys camp, and it was a win-win situation for Jones, the Cowboys and, of course, the League.

That Jones had been involved in trouble even during his suspension seemed to be a non-issue, and the League fully reinstated Jones before the Cowboys first regular season game. The partial reinstatement, which allowed him to fully participate in all preseason activities sounded serious, but in reality, it did nothing but delay the inevitable.

Ultimately, rehab works so well for public perception resurrection because it seems to imply that there was something previously wrong with the person that is now recognized and can be fixed. Adam Jones doesn’t spit in women’s faces and throw money at strippers because he’s spoiled, angry and violent; he’s just got an alcohol problem. With this stunning realization, Pacman is just a short rehab stay away from complete rehabilitation.

Expect this new chapter in the Jones saga to follow a similar route as the last one. He will spend some “life-changing” time in rehab, and everyone from Michael Irvin to Stephen A. Smith will talk about the changed Adam Jones. The League office will talk tough, maybe even extend the suspension a bit, but Jones will be back on the field, if not by season’s end, by the time the Cowboys inaugurate their brand new stadium next season.

In the end, we love watching exciting football players, and Jones has the chance to be a thriller. As long as he has that potential, some team and some league will find a way to justify employing him. For now, Jones will take 12 quick steps back to the NFL, and Dallas nightclubs and hotels across the city will see their bouncer salaries and insurance costs soar.

Jamie Leader is a senior in the College and can be reached at leaderthehoya.com. He hosts the sports radio show “Tournament Edition” on Georgetown Radio every Monday from noon to 2 p.m. FOLLOW THE LEADER appears in every other Friday issue of HOYA SPORTS.

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