Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

How to Make the Most of GAAP Weekend

How+to+Make+the+Most+of+GAAP+Weekend

GAAP

Dear joyous prospective students,

CONGRATS ON BEING ACCEPTED TO GEORGETOWN!

giphy-9

Your friends here at 4E would like to welcome you to to our home, the Hilltop, which we look forward to sharing with you next year! With the onset of the first GAAP weekend we know your mind must be bursting with questions, anxieties, fears, hopes and dreams. With your jumble of emotions in mind, we have decided to help.

One thing you can be sure to confront during your jam-packed GAAP weekend is a tour (perhaps your first ever) around the Georgetown Campus! We get the pressure, the desire to take it all in: aesthetically pleasing buildings, wandering randos, perhaps spotting a Jesuit or better yet Jack the Bulldog?! We don’t want you to miss a thing!

For this reason we have come up with a list of questions to ask your GAAP tour guide:

  1. Ask them what they had for breakfast. This is important because it fills you in on their credibility. If the say nothing they are not to be trusted as they either are lying about the mound of tater tots they had at Leo’s or they are not responsible enough to replenish their body with essential nutrients during the most important meal of the day, but don’t judge them too hard.
  2. Ask what Jack the Bulldog had for breakfast. This too is key because it again will fill you in on just how honest they are being with you. Don’t accept any answer other than golden kibbles and bits. Insist.
  3. Ask them about their deepest darkest fears. A final way to test their credibility, here is a great way to dig deep and really build a connection with your guide right off the bat.
  4. Favorite meal/station/concoction at Leo’s. Here’s the time to get serious. Make sure to have your notebook and pen out because you will need to be documenting the hidden gems of Leo’s ASAP to make sure you get the most of those meal swipes.
  5. Ask for directions to Lau 6. Don’t tell anyone the answer. It is the biggest secret on campus.
  6. Best Class/Professor(s)? This might actually be really beneficial information.
  7. Ask for their favorite weirdest party theme. This one could be interesting given the periphery of parents that are likely to be surrounding. If their first answer seems to avoid the question ask for 2 runner ups.
  8. Ask them to connect the Jesuit values with different episodes of How I Met Your Mother. This may take some time and pose a bit of a challenge for your guide, but their answers will sure to be ripe with useful information about our culture and Jesuit identity here on campus.
  9. Then ask them if they are religious. Before they can answer say, “Because you’re the answer to all of my prayers.”
  10. Choose one of the following from the NYT’s list of questions that lead to love:
  • How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
  • Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
  • For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Note: This one should be super fun, especially if your guide is attractive. Save this for the near-end of your tour, gaze into their eyes, pretend as if it just you and this other person, rid your mind of the idea that your parents and future classmates are surrounding you.

But really though, WE LOVE GEORGETOWN AND HOPE YOU WILL TOO!

200 (Please disregard the inappropriate behavior of the Hoya in center.)

Sincerely,

(Some of your future favorite people on campus??)

<3 4E

Photos/Gifs: giphy; https://dailycaller.com/

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