It’s that time of the year again, Hoyas: Georgetown is being plagued by the autumn and fall epidemics of every sort are spreading like Chicken Finger Thursday madness, and there isn’t anything we can do to stop them. I have nobly taken it upon myself to guide you through this insanity with some survival tips! I’ve compiled a list of the top four worst epidemics, so let’s go through them together and hopefully make it out alive:

Fall Weather Epidemic The winds are changing – literally. If you haven’t noticed the drastic difference in weather, look up: Between the dark, looming clouds, the chilled winds and that week of incessant rain that pounded the Hilltop (although that could have easily been the birds and insects crying over D.C., lamenting the government shutdown), it’s clear that D.C. weather has arrived. The weather may have been nice today, but don’t be fooled! D.C. Fall Weather Epidemic comes and goes faster than you can say, “Oh, look! The catastrophic rain stopped!” Just know that surviving these fall weather disasters is all about mindset. Be confident in your sweaters and umbrellas, move quickly when outdoors and don’t let that hurricane-level wind tunnel between Healy and Copley knock you down!

October Midterm Epidemic When your friends at other universities ask you when you have midterms and you reply, “forever,” you know that you’re caught up in the October Midterm Epidemic. Here at Georgetown, we don’t really have “midterm season”. Midterms begin at the beginning of October and continue until finals start. Unfortunately, every Hoya must trudge through weeks of studying, writing and testing until their fingers are bruised from typing, their notebooks are ruined by the tears and their pencils and spirits have broken. But, wait, there’s hope! Surviving midterms is difficult if you make it difficult. Keep calm, study early and don’t get caught on Lau 2 at 3 a.m. talking about all the work you need to do but aren’t doing.

The Flu Epidemic You didn’t think I would forget about actual epidemics, did you? I know as well as you do that the flu is not a game, but if it were we would all lose. In the middle of the October Midterm Epidemic, the Flu Epidemic would surely destroy us all. Nobody looks forward to taking their midterms or stays up all night studying with a smile on their face, so imagine how unproductive we would be with the flu on top of everything else! In order to skirt this terrible epidemic, stay on top of your health game. Also, make sure you drop by Yates on Oct. 22nd, Oct. 30th, Nov. 7th, Nov. 13th, or Nov. 19th at the designated hours to get your free vaccination – holla!

Georgetown Fall Fashion Epidemic Goodbye to Nantucket Red, hello thrift store flannel (Blog editor Lindsay Lee is rejoicing)! Because of this epidemic, every Hoya and their Jesuit father will start swapping their flashy summer garb for something more suitable for the temperature. To survive, blend in with the crowd: say goodbye to your favorite pair of shorts and cover those gams with something a bit warmer. Maybe dust off that winter coat you never unpacked from your move-in day luggage bag. But, here’s my favorite tip: it’s officially in-style to dress for comfort, which means comfy pajamas (my specialty), over-sized scarves and ugly sweaters are a go! However, make sure to avoid peacoats and artisan woolen socks: these are tell-tale signs that you are doing too much and need to do less … or you will face being sucked in to the epidemic.

That’s all of the epidemics for now! If you see me out there owning these epidemics, I’ll be the sleep-starved, brain-fried one in flannel pajamas finally done with his midterms crying over his flu shot and avoiding the outdoor weather at all costs. Hopefully, I’ll see you surviving as well! Keep calm and good luck!