After a lovely summer abroad in Paris, France, I am back in my even lovelier home state, New Jersey. While I often frequent New York City, I definitely am much more accustomed to the suburban lifestyle (i.e. using cars as my main method of transportation). With that in mind, my six weeks of relying exclusively on the metro (and sometimes sketchy Ubers) brought about quite a few surprises. Here are the five weirdest things I saw on the Paris metro:

1. I straight up witnessed a man ALMOST fall onto a baby stroller, which prompted the mother to burst into tears. In his defense, he was not close to touching the baby so the reaction was a bit unwarranted. That being said, the only thing I’m THAT protective over is my dog, and if someone almost stepped on him, I’d probably cry, too.
2. I watched a man dig his finger in his ear for twenty minutes straight. Seriously. Twenty minutes. I hope he found what he was looking for.
3. I watched everyone check themselves out in the metro doors. I can’t even make a joke about it though because I did the same thing each and every time. Those things seriously make great mirrors.
4. I witnessed a man who was so drunk he was lying on the station floor and his friends quite literally had to drag him onto the metro. Don’t ride the metro alone at 2 a.m. kids, or this is what you’ll see:
5. I saw a man wearing a shirt that said “Massive🐔”. Comment dit-on “overcompensation?”

And there ya have it folks. Stay safe using public transportation.

Photos/Gifs: residences-paris.com, giphy.com