Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Bowl Math the Only Kind I Add

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I hate numbers – always have. Multiplication tables were the bane of my existence in third grade, algebra II nearly granted me two sophomore years of high school and math modeling – despite being labeled as an “easy” math credit – ate away at me through the entirety of fall semester junior year. Now one of the abnormalities who run the BCS computer system has gone and had a bad case of the Mondays, forgotten a decimal place and made sure an already-ugly college football season ended hideously. So to vent my frustrations, I decided to crunch the numbers. Here – according to my calculations – is a quick rounding-up of some integers, figures and fun-filled facts from this season’s slate of bowl games. Don’t forget to carry the one. 1973. The last time Texas Tech played in the Gator Bowl prior to being selected for this year’s New Year’s Day game against Virginia. The ’73 Red Raiders were led by a fleet receiver named Jeff Jobe, who helped Tech streak past Tennessee that day in Jacksonville 35 years ago. This year, Jobe will watch as his son Staton – a freshman receiver for UVA – leads the Cavaliers against his alma mater, proving that although a football may be in the shape of an oval, the sport has a way of coming full circle. 1982. The last time both Miami and Notre Dame failed to go bowling. Miami Head Coach Randy Shannon was a sophomore in high school, and current Notre Dame quarterback Jimmy Clausen wouldn’t be born for another half-decade. The 1982 Hurricanes – who finished 9-2 but were ineligible for bowl play due to multiple NCAA violations – were coached by Howard Schnellenberger, who this year has directed Florida Atlantic to its first-ever bowl appearance. Schnellenberger’s Owls take on Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl on Dec. 21. 10. Number of two-loss teams in the BCS standings. Five will play in a BCS bowl (LSU, Georgia, USC, Virginia Tech, Oklahoma, USC), one was No. 1 one week ago (Missouri) and one (LSU) gets to play for the national championship for reasons unbeknownst to all. Zero. Number of Mormons who will enjoy their trip to Sin City to see BYU play UCLA in the Las Vegas Bowl on Dec. 23. What in God’s (no pun intended) name were the suits at the Las Vegas Bowl thinking? Mitt Romney does slightly resemble Wayne Newton, but with better hair. Six. Number of bowls with a food product or food distributor in their title (Papajohns.com, Outback, Chick-fil-A, Sugar, Tostitos Fiesta, Orange). Ironically, rotund Maryland Coach Ralph “Fridge” Friedgen doesn’t get to pig out at any of them (his Terrapins got stuck in the inedible Emerald), and orca-fat Kansas Coach Mark Mangino – whose Jayhawks face Virginia Tech in the Orange on Jan. 3 – drew the one with the least caloric value (60 calories per serving). Next year, Kansas and Maryland should forgo their bowl eligibility in favor of a sumo-wrestling contest between the two coaches – winner gets to devour the loser. 71. Average high temperature for Tampa, Fla., on New Year’s Day and about how warm it will be when Tennessee kicks off against Wisconsin in the Outback Bowl at 11 a.m. 31. Average low temperature for Shreveport, La., on Dec. 31 and about how cold it should be when Alabama – who thrashed Tennessee 41-17 on Oct. 20 – kicks off against Colorado in the Independence Bowl at 8 p.m. Another cold, hard fact: The bowl system, like life, is not fair. Seven. Number of teams that will be under the direction of an interim coach this postseason. UCLA, Arkansas, Texas A&M, Southern Miss, Georgia Tech, Michigan and Houston have all seen their coaches fired, resign or jump ship for another school. Should Cincinnati’s Brian Kelly – who is presently on every interested athletic director’s speed dial – take off, the Dec. 22 match-up between the Bearcats and Southern Miss in the Papajohn’s.com bowl will be staler than week-old pizza. One. Total number of starters in the International Bowl – out of a possible 22 – not born in the United States. Rutgers defensive end Jamaal Westerman’s hometown of Brampton, Ontario is 26 miles from the Rogers Centre in Toronto, where the Scarlet Knights face Ball State on Jan. 5. Three. Total number of starters in the Texas Bowl – out of a possible 22 – who were not born in Texas. TCU and the University of Houston have a combined 28 players from the Houston area, which is where the Horned Frogs and the Cougars do battle in Reliant Stadium on Dec. 28. 3,850,000. Amount, in dollars, that Maryland (Emerald, $750,000), Oklahoma State (Insight, $1,200,000) and Oregon (Sun, $1,900,000) will receive in payouts for playing in their bowl games. You know how much food Friedgen can buy to make up for gnawing on emeralds for a month? I do. I did the math: 46,903 large Spicy Italian pizzas from Papajohns.com. or 214, 899 12- ounce bags of Tostitos Gold tortilla chips. How about 44,143 12-ounce rib eye steaks from Outback? Or 187,969 12-piece Chick-fil-A chicken nuggets? God help us if Maryland ever plays for the BCS Title ($17 million payout per conference). 275,000,000. Amount, in dollars, that Maryland ($10,000,000, Baltimore businessman Barry Gossett), Oklahoma State ($165,000,000, Oil tycoon Boone Pickens), and Oregon ($100,000,000, Nike founder Phil Knight) have received in donations from alumni in the past year. That is slightly more the 2006 GDP of Micronesia. This really has nothing to do with bowl games, but I find it interesting, and I really get a kick out of the country being called Micronesia. Of course, they have a small amount of money – it’s MICROnesia! Four. Number of hours it took me to research this column and write it. Silly? Probably. Stupid? Most definitely (especially when you factor in the 75 pages of term papers I have to write in the next week). But it is nowhere near the astronomical amount of time I will squander over Christmas break watching Wake Forest and Connecticut duke it out in the Meineke Car Care Bowl, Purdue square off against Central Michigan in the Motor City Bowl or Bowling Green and Tulsa butt heads in the GMAC Bowl. They will all be exciting to me, numbers be damned. Harlan Goode is a senior in the College. He can be reached at goodethehoya.com. The Goode Worde appears every Friday in HOYA SPORTS.

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