Let’s say, hypothetically, that one night, you and your buddies are minding your own business at a neighborhood gentlemen’s club, when a little tussle breaks out. A couple haymakers, a few bullets and a shower of dollar bills fly through the air, but in the end, only one person is seriously injured. No biggie. Except that you’ve been in trouble once or six times before, and your boss decides it’s time you took some responsibility for your actions. He suspends you from your lucrative dream job for a year and tells you to be on your best behavior if you ever want to regain employment. What would you do? DUH! Go right back to the strip joint! As silicon-brained as that may sound, it’s exactly what suspended Tennessee Titans cornerback Adam “Pacman” Jones did this week, snapping his unprecedented six-month absence from the police blotter. Earlier this week, Jones was accused of punching a woman at the Body Tap Strip Club in Atlanta. The accusation marks the third time Jones has been caught sneaking a late-night peek since he was involved in a shoot-out at a Las Vegas strip club last February that left one man paralyzed and led to his year-long excommunication by NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. The woman – an attorney who claims she was in the club tending to a divorce case (she must be Tony Soprano’s chief counsel) – has since dropped her accusation but does not deny that Pacman was indeed present the night of the incident. Earth to Pacman: STOP GOING TO STRIP CLUBS. THEY CAUSE YOU NOTHING BUT TROUBLE. Ever since he was drafted by the Titans in 2005, Rack-Man and his entourage have been trying their absolute hardest to put the “gentlemen” back into gentlemen’s club. Last February’s incident in Las Vegas – which ended with Jones pleading no contest to disorderly conduct charges – marked the sixth time the 24-year-old West Virginia alum had been arrested since coming to the league. Following his suspension in April, Jones promised Goodell he would change his ways and said he hoped the commissioner would hear an appeal plea from his attorneys. He pledged to stay out of the clubs. “The first step in meeting these goals is for me to stop making the poor decisions that have put me in this position,” Jones wrote in a letter that appeared in the Nashville Tennessean last spring. Shortly thereafter, Jones told ESPN2 that he had been at a New York strip club the night before he met with Goodell to discuss his punishment for his errant behavior in Vegas. Jones claimed he was hungry and simply went in to get something to eat. “If I could do anything different, I wouldn’t have went and gotten nothing to eat then,” Jones said of his big night in the Big Apple. “There wasn’t even no girls in there.” Of course! A man’s gotta eat, so naturally, he eschews the Wendy’s drive-thru and goes to an empty strip club to get a red-light special. This was after his crew had made stops at the liquor store with no booze and the putt-putt course with no putters, so the only logical place to go was a strip club devoid of strippers. Even though Jones was questioned by police again about his role in another shooting outside another skin bar in Georgia last June, Rack-Man said this fall he felt he’d earned the right to be reinstated early and rejoin his team. “I think I did enough. I did pretty much everything Mr. Goodell asked me to do,” Jones told the Atlanta-Journal Constitution shortly before meeting with Goodell in November. “I know what decisions I need to make, what decisions not to make.” Goodell, because he wasn’t born yesterday, denied the appeal. Evidently, Rack-Man has a penchant for scantily-clad women. Perfectly understandable, he is human, after all, and we all have our weaknesses. But come on, there are so many ways he could go about this without inciting a Glock party. He could join a nudist colony. He could move in next door to the Playboy mansion, bake some cupcakes and bring them to Hugh Hefner as an “I’m your new neighbor, let’s get to know one another!” gift. Or he could just be himself. He is, after all, a filthy-rich professional football player. I’d be willing to bet there are one or two women out there that might be interested in some informal courting. But until Jones learns to put pigskin ahead of bare skin, he’ll remain in his current state: stripped of the right to ply his trade, stark naked in the bright lights of public ridicule for all to see. Harlan Goode is a senior in the College. He can be reached at goodethehoya.com. The Goode Worde appears every Friday in HOYA SPORTS.