Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Bieber: Let’s Talk About It

Bieber%3A+Lets+Talk+About+It

bieberJustin Bieber has officially gone off the deep end, and I want to talk about it because I don’t want to do my philosophy reading. Instead, let’s philosophize about the Biebz.

I have to say that I have always been the first person to stand up for Bieber ever since I saw his performance at the AMAs in 2012. Here it is, in case you were wondering:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=epJIIRo6m4M

I was obviously persecuted and bullied for such a defensive stance on an oft-ridiculed celebrity; however, I am a strong-willed person so I would naturally whine back something like “but he’s so talented!” Which he is. Not as talented as Kanye West (another celeb that I just can’t help stand up for), but Kanye’s a genius so that’s different. Anyway, Bieber has been basically having a mental breakdown similar to the one I am having on Lau 4 because I’ve realized that I forgot how to do school. Thankfully, I haven’t assaulted anyone yet. He did.

Here at 4E, we’ve always been concerned for Justin’s well-being, and once again, we’re going to give our take on the things he should and shouldn’t be doing. I don’t have any expertise on his life, but I’m gonna discuss it anyway. Here are some of the things that J.B. did recently that make me worry:

1. Over 100,000 Americans are calling for his deportation. If that happens, he’s probably going to be like this:

justin-bieber-baby-o
Baby, baby, baby, NOOOOOO!

2. He also grew a super sketch mustache. (See top photo.) I can’t even begin to deal with it.

3. Please note that he is wearing Invisalign in the picture at the top of this post. Lemme see yo grillz! I’m just kidding. Please put your grillz away. We don’t like them.

4. He’s been committing all sorts of crimes lately. Not okay.

5. This was his mugshot for the above-mentioned crimes. Also not okay.2014-01-24-biebz_mugshots_transparent-thumb

This supports my theory that all celebrities are actually insane and we should trust none of them. Except Jennifer Lawrence and Alanis Morrissete, they’re awesome.

Hope remains.
Hope remains.
Photos: huffingtonpost, nymag.com Gif: gifsoup.com, celebuzz.com
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