With midterms in swing and Lau packed with students “studying,” Corp products are increasing in popularity (and necessity). And believe it or not, finding the ideal beverage can be a difficult and arduous process. I spent a half hour today reading menus at UG, trying to decipher names and decide which concoction of goodness I should choose. It’s not only about taste and ingredients, though. One must consider the sass factor when deciding on a Corp beverage — and here at 4E, we’re all about sass. That’s why we’ve made this handy list for you. You’re welcome.
The Sassiest Corp Drinks
1. Divas Exotica (strawberry and mango ice tea with soy) This is one of my favorite sassy drinks at the Corp locations, because it is both delicious and really fun to order. Divas. For. Ever.
2. Daisy Buchanan (lemonade and heaven) Daisys are the backbone of my springtime drink diet. They bring me happiness and remind me of the sassiest Gatsby character around. Someone please tell me, what is better than that?
3. Red Eye (espresso me up, baby) If you hear someone order this, you know they mean business. Never cross someone with a sassy disposition and a red eye in hand.
4. Metropolitan (rich almond mocha perfection) Yes, this is actually how it is described. Almond milk is one of the more individualistic types of milk. Make it a mocha and you win. It’ll bring out your inner Beyoncé.
5. Golden Ticket (white chocolate butterscotch steamer) Can you imagine butterscotch and chocolate and warm milk mixed into one steamy cup of goodness? Order this drink and you have truly won the Golden Ticket … of fierceness.
6. Eleanor Rigby (caramel hazelnut paradise) The mixture of these two amazing flavors leads to actual paradise. This drink gives the real “Eleanor Rigby” a run for its money… just kidding. Come on — who can beat the Beatles?
7. The Anna K (vanilla iced coffee with whip) I am actually amazed whenever I see someone drink this because there is so much attitude in one drink. I have always wanted to try it but I have been too scared. It seems like such an amazing combination. Maybe one day I will build up the courage to order it. Until then, I’ll just keep watching “Cups” by the other Anna K.
8. Zenmaster (white jasmine tea; a blissful balance) I am such a fan of flavored teas. But white jasmine tea? Game changer. After you try this, you will never go back to the classic English breakfast ever again, because you’ll be so sassy… in a good way.
Order them and become part of the Corp’s inner circle of sassiness. I dare you. But make sure you say their names; don’t be a poseur.
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