Valentine’s Day Gifts for Your Ex

By Kat Vassell • February 8, 2016

Still upset about your breakup? Instead of trying to get back together with your ex, just get back at him or her. While embracing your strength as a strong, independent human is the best revenge, it’s not nearly as entertaining as these tactics. Send your ex some of these thoughtful gifts this Valentine’s Day!

1. Spice up you ex’s new love life (without you) by sending prank scented candles. These candles, which can be sent anonymously, start off smelling refreshing before the scent transforms into one of the following aromas:

*Purchase here for $11.95: https://prankcandles.com*

2. If your ex hates all things that generally evoke happiness among those with souls, send him or her glitter. But don’t just send a little glitter (perhaps on a card); send an obnoxious amount inside a note to maximize spillage. While this might only annoy the average human being, glitter is bound to burn through your ex’s flesh like kryptonite.

*Purchase here for $9.99: https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/product/The-OG-Glitter-Bomb-54*

3. In lieu of Valentine’s Day, send your ex an anonymous musical prank card. Thinking it’s from the new bae, you ex will open it up with a smile, only to find out that the romantic jingle will play on repeat for hours until the card is destroyed or the battery dies. There’s even an option to add a little surprise glitter for $.99 or even a personal message for $1.69 (in case you want to take credit for the devious plot).

*Purchase for $12.99: https://shipyourenemiesglitter.com/product/Musical-Prank-Valentines-Day-Card-66*

4. At the expense of offending a poor, innocent critter this Valentine’s Day, name one of the Bronx Zoo’s Madagascar hissing cockroaches after your ex for $10, and receive a digital certificate. I personally would recommend the $25 printed roach certificate which comes with chocolate, but it’s sold out. Looks like I’m not the only crazy one…