Spending the summer in New York

We at the guide are huge fans of the city that never sleeps, but we might approve less of the financial firm where you’re inevitably working. Maybe we’re just envious that you’re getting paid, but then again, you’ll be losing a considerable chunk to steep rent, expensive food and your MetroCard. You’re the type of person who is rocking her classes and started researching summer plans in November. We hope all that work pays off for you and that you don’t spend your summer making infinite Starbucks runs.

Teaching English abroad

You’re the type of person who really thinks he can change the world — or who really thinks that this will look good on his resume. Either way, kudos for your idealism or pragmatism, respectively. If you’re going to a country where you “speak the language,” be prepared to realize that most eight-year-olds have a broader vocabulary than you. If you don’t, be prepared for some major struggle. Either way, you will be laughed at — frequently. Try to teach them patriotic pop songs. We suggest Miley’s “Party in the U.S.A.”

Interning on the Hill

Congressional interns fall into two camps. There are the interns who have been dreaming of this moment ever since they sent their deposit to Georgetown. This won’t be nearly as glamorous as you imagine. And then there are the ones who weren’t really sure what they should do this summer, but their parents kind of knew someone in their representative’s office. Try to get enthused. Whichever group you’re in, prepare to spend most of your time sweating in your business-casual work wear in the D.C. humidity.

Interning at an obscure government agency

Please stop bragging about how high your security clearance is. We get it — you’re living every IPOL major’s dream. Just because you can know top-secret information doesn’t mean you’ll see anything interesting, and even if you do learn something, you can’t tell anyone about it. You’re hoping that this unpaid summer gig will give you enough “experience” to launch you into a prestigious tenure at the CIA, but it’ll probably just be something for you to talk about at The Tombs in the fall.

Just relaxing at home

Stop saying that with a sigh — it won’t be that bad. Your parents have missed you all year, and by the time the obligatory grace period is over, it’ll be the middle of July. Hopefully you’ve got something lined up, even if you’re just working at the grocery store, or you might try to throttle your siblings. Soak up the delicious food, clean house and cable television while you can. At the very least, you can tell stories in September about how strange all your high school friends have become.