Relationships are crazy. As the genius Katy Perry once sang, “You’re hot then you’re cold, you’re yes then you’re no, you’re in then you’re out, you’re up then you’re down.” Truer words have never been said.

The classic chick flick How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days tells the story of a woman who attempts to drive a man away in only (gasp) 10 short days. After re-watching this movie for the millionth time, I got to thinking … hold on a second. If a girl “got” a guy, why would she want to lose him? Hello? That makes no sense.

So over the last few days I have been strolling the paths of Georgetown, investigating and observing the student body. And while I still don’t know why anyone would want to lose a guy in 10 days, I realized how easy it is not to get one. After countless hours on Lau 2, I have concluded that these are the 10 things that women do that make themselves unattractive to the men of the world. If you do these things, you will NOT get a guy in 10 days:

1. Shrieking when you see your friends in Leo’s While this may seem like the perfect way to get a guy to like you (and seem more popular), it really isn’t. You look, seem and sound like that annoying girl who pretends to be friends with everyone.

2. Only talk in classwork lingo Sometimes it is good to talk about class, but it is not good to only keep the conversation about how that problem set was so hard. Bridge the gap between class and “extra-curriculars.”

3. Stalking in class Yes, having friends in class is great, but it reaches the point where it is weird. Stalking can go from innocent to awkward real fast. It will not help your case.

4. “Study” in public places to be seen Your grades and relationships will not get better … I promise you.

5. Walk around Lau aimlessly We all know those girls who are always just walking around. I’m 90% sure that they do not have any particular destination.

6. Giving code names to guys Many girls think that the more indiscrete they are, the more chance they have. No, guys do not want to be called “eyes” or “ya know.” I’m not saying I haven’t done it…

7. Poke your crush on Facebook This is the epitome of desperation. Totally not acceptable.

8. Get really drunk and text them at 1 a.m. I’m pretty sure that they know you really don’t wanna know “what’s up?” at that time of night.

9. Get the machine next to them at Yates Every. Single. Time. Creepy.

10. Saying “OMG, me too” every time they say something new Girl, there is very little chance that you have everything in common. Get a grip.

It is harsh, but true: We girls often do things that aren’t in our best interest. This Valentine’s Day, do less, Lady Hoyas. Do less.

GIFS: tumblr