We all know that Hoyas like to keep it fit. We are an overly-ambitious bunch and we work just as hard in the gym as in the classroom. After some exhausting observations, I have discovered that there are some very specific types that can be found at Yates.
The Lululemon Queen
This specimen is very easy to spot. It is not only due to her perfectly coordinated outfit, but also her $50 neon headband. But hey, give her a break, she works out hard. Not only is she working to keep that bod “Lululemon” acceptable by being the connoisseur of the elliptical, but she is constantly making the trek to their store on M street to check out the newest must-have.
The Professor
It may be a little awkward at first, but bumping into your professor at Yates isn’t such a bad thing. At least he or she knows now that you do other things besides watch Netflix, procrastinate, and drink Natty Light. They need to blow off some steam too and though they may be doing it in a Turkey Trot 5k T-shirt from 1999 and those somehow always perfectly clean white New Balances, we’ll let them off the hook.
The Athlete
You see their shoes … enough said. Just step aside.
The Wanderer
Usually a male, the wanderer is very mysterious. You never see him on a machine but somehow he is always profusely sweating. He seems to be aimlessly walking around the gym, headphones in, bravado high, and a pseudo-purpose that’s not fooling anybody. The only work out he is getting is with his eyes, as he creepily checks out the line of girls on the treadmills.
You
Then there’s you. You’re pretty proud of yourself just for getting your lazy self all the way to Yates. You have your routine, but it’s nothing special. Sometimes you pretend you know what you’re doing and really hope by the grace of God that no one else can sense your uncertainty. It’s OK, everyone knows that you’re just working out to no longer feel guilty about taking two helpings on Chicken Finger Thursday.
