What Your Favorite American Beverage Says About You

With the Fourth of July just around the corner, it’s time to feel a little red, white and buzzed. At 4E, we pride ourselves on fulfilling the American dream and therefore, have done our own research on the best American beverages out there. The Fourth Edition is feeling a little star, spangled ~~bannered~~ hammered and luckily, we know exactly what you should be drinking this Independence Day (if you’re 21+, of course). Here are just a few of your favorite American libations and what they say about you.

Tito’s Vodka: You like to live life in the fast lane. You’re willing to spend a little extra guap to enjoy the finer things in life, because why the hell not? Your friend Tito is always at your side whether it’s with a splash of tonic and lime (ohhh you fancy) or just straight up. You’re that cool guy/gal at the party who people respect.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at about an 8.

Natty Light: You just like to #party wherever and whenever. You enjoy the simple things and as long as you’re with your bros watching ESPN, you couldn’t be happier. Your favorite color is Nantucket red and you would be more upset if your Fantasy Football team lost than if you failed your last finance exam.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at about a 6.

Jack Daniels: You’re just f****** wild. You’re def the life of the party and do not live in ragrets, even though you probably should. You can make friends anywhere and the bartender at your favorite watering hole knows your name. You may not be the classiest, but you’re a nice guy/gal and always ready to show your patriotism.

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a solid 10.

California White: In your natural state, you are on the quieter side, but once you get a little Jesus juice (wine) in you, you’re a lot (like a lot) louder. You enjoy hanging out in more intimate settings and have an tendency to eat a whole wheel of Brie when drunk. Your average rate of likes per photo on Instagram is over 100 and you talk in hashtags. You’re patriotic, but you’ve seen the world and know what’s out there (because you went abroad, obviously).

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a 4.

Fireball: You don’t drink a lot, but when you do, it’s always a crazy time. You have a sweet tooth and thus, Fireball is your go-to. You can be a recluse during the week, hiding in the shadows of Lau. But when your friends finally get you out to Tombs, you tear up that dance floor (whether that is a good or bad thing). You’re studious, but also social. **Disclaimer: apparently, Fireball is Canadian, but that’s irrelevant**

On a 1 to Star, Spangled, Hammered scale, you’re at a 7.

We hope that all of you show your patriotism and love for ‘Murica this Fourth of July. Drink responsibly!