Spring has sprung. So maybe you’re feeling active or outdoorsy or happy or something. Or maybe you’re still just as lazy as you are during the winter. If this is true, here are the top 5 worst elevators at Georgetown to persuade you into taking the stairs.
- NEW NORTH
This one is good for those who want some idle time while you wait. You can maybe finish War & Peace or all seven Harry Potter books.
Safety: 3.5
Speed: 1
Vibe: 2
Average: 2.17
- TIE — MAGUIRE
It’s great because if you’re in it, you’re probably on your way to Riggs Library. But it’s also not so great to be surrounded by black protective padding.
Riggs is the classiest place on campus and the only way to get there is via service elevator? Almost a day-ruiner.
Safety: 3
Speed: 2
Vibe: 1
Average: 2
- TIE — LEAVEY CENTER
The filthy carpeting and 1980s tennis facility smell might make your Cosi taste that much worse afterwards.
Safety: 3
Speed: 2
Vibe: 1
Average: 2
- LAU
Slow doors and faux wood paneling––this one definitely takes the cake for best horror movie setting. That’s not outside of the realm of possibility actually. Those doors stop for no one, so don’t get righteous and lose an arm trying to hold the doors for anyone.
Safety: 2
Speed: 2.5
Vibe: 1
Average: 1.83
- WALSH
First of all, factor an extra 10 minutes into your schedule if you plan on taking this up to class. More importantly, taking this elevator is almost a death wish. If you take it with more than four people, it literally won’t even be level with the floor when it opens. Be sure to have all your affairs in order before you let those door close behind you.
Safety: 1
Speed: 1
Vibe: 2
Average: 1.33
Honorable Mention: REGENTS
Safety: 5
Speed: 5
Vibe: -5
So the Regents elevator is actually one of the only acceptable elevators on campus. Contemporary design and a speedy trip for sure. The reason it earns Honorable Mention, however, is because of the condescending voice that chirps “Going up!” Who needs that kind of passive aggression in their life?
This post was guest-written by Matthew Melbourne.
Photos: Matthew Melbourne for The Hoya, country105.com
