With the Citizens Association of Georgetown (CAG) installing security cameras in the neighboring area we as Hoyas have to ask ourselves—what strange things will they catch on camera on the average Saturday night?

While the CAG cameras are meant to provide details in the event of a crime, we can only imagine what footage will go unwatched.

In my own party-going experience, I’ve gotten to know several types of individuals that may be seen on camera. Something I like to call The Potomac Shore…

The Situation/Ronnie/The Guy No One Really Remembers

You’re quite the rager, doing keg stands and shotgunning Natty like the professional bro (brofressional?) you are. You can barely walk in a straight line, let alone wheel yourself around on that superfluous skateboard. You’re that guy at the party which, for you, is not a bad thing to be. You can rock Nantucket Reds during the day and the lax pinnie at night, and we all know you’re going to score.

Sammie “Sweetheart”

We know, we know. You NEVER go out. You should be in Lau studying for that chem test on Monday, but instead you’ve got your heels in hand sitting on the 35th and Prospect. Pull yourself together, honey. Enjoy your night because there’s nothing you can do now, and worrying won’t add to your test grade.
Drink something to hydrate (jungle juice doesn’t count), and I promise you will survive.

Pauly D

You’re the cool guy that every girl and guy wants to talk to. You walk home alone, but that air of mystery that you don has people texting you all night asking what you’re up to. Listening to your Beats, you know all of the latest hits and you heard Gangnam Style before anyone else in the U.S. did. You non-
conformist, you. Stay warm, bro. Because being cool is too mainstream.

Snooki

A Potomac Shore Snooki is the guy or girl who will be seen the most on the security cameras. You’re best friends with the guys down at Tuscany, who no longer try to overcharge you for drunk pizza. Attempt to stay classy because you know that one day you’ll really want to run for a public office, and saying “It depends on what the definition of ‘is’ is” can only work once in a lifetime – props to our alum Slick Willy for that one.

Stay classy, Hoyas.