This past weekend, 4E hired eight new, fantastic bloggers! We interviewed a bunch of capable and hilarious bloggers, but these were the eight who caught our eye. We’ve met them, now it is time for you to meet them too:

Katrina Vassell (MSB ’17)

When You Know You Are A Hoya:

1. When the acronym of your organization is harder to pronounce than the actual name. I’m looking at YOU GUASFCU… or GUAFSCUE… or GUSEFSCU, whatever it is.

2. When you’re unqualified to join the investment fund, but get an internship at Goldman Sachs.

3. When your social life is dictated by your extracurricular activities and your largest, most prestigious fraternity is a coffee shop.

Caroline Platek (COL ’17)

When Playing “The Final Countdown” Would Make Sense:

1. When Midnight Mug is about to close and you’ll be at LAU for an allnighter, and realize with 2 minutes to spare that you’ll never stay awake without a Midnight Mug treat. And in that moment, you realize there’s no time for organizing your books or packing up shop. So you must trust a fellow cubicle user to “watch my stuff” and then you race down those LAU steps like that MUG snack is the last snack you’ll ever consume. You make it in time, you get your treat, you pull the all-nighter and you have successfully completed the assignment that you started the night before. Hooray.

2. You are thinking of spending the night “with Netflix” and your friends decide to hit the town. You wish them a good time and wrap up in your snuggie like you’re the star of that classic infomercial. Your friends go to that place you all enjoy, and they text you when they arrive because they see the love of your life in the venue. They are about to go to another location and tell you that you should come to the current one within 15 minutes or else they are leaving. You can’t give up on love — this might be your soul mate. So you get ready, you spray the fragrance that tells the world “It’s showtime” and you meet your friends in the nick of time. You’ve landed your crush, you’ve had a good night and you’ve proven that the best nights are those that were not planned.

Lauren Salamon (COL ’19)

The People You’ll Meet Walking on Your First Day:

1. The Supportive Upperclassman: This person is the best. They probably see you looking dangerously confused in the ICC. “Umm… do you know how to get to 107?” you ask. This friendly stranger will show you the way.

2. The Fellow Freshman: You notice this person a few feet away, also staring at their schedule in a perplexed manner. “Are you a freshman, too?” you ask. Of course they are. You are of little help to one another.

3. The Inanimate Object: If it gets to the point where you are already three minutes late to class, you may curse vengefully at a stagnant elevator or whisper a profanity at another staircase. It’s really their fault, anyway.

Benjamin Balough (COL ’17)

When Blacking Out Would Actually Be Helpful:

1. Morning after call to the ‘rents telling them you’ve been GERMSed again. #lookatyourlife

2. Falling on your ass in front of your crush at Brown House with a BAC of 0.00%.

3. That one time in Yates where your hottie-spotting to treadmill-walking ratio went from 0 to 100 and you just stood there gaping at the booty for a solid 15 minutes.

Annie Fraser (NHS ’19)

The Most Underrated Fruits:

1. Grapefruit. Grapefruit is the best citrus out there, and the reason that people don’t agree with me on this is not because I’m “incorrect” or “care too much about grapefruit,” it’s because they’ve never encountered a spoon with serrated edges, “a grapefruit spoon” that allows you to enjoy your delicious grapefruit without all the juice going everywhere. And grapefruit is not too sour, it’s perfectly tangy and delicious. People who don’t like the taste of grapefruit are either: a. children who can’t handle the real world or b. eating under ripe grapefruit.

2. Not Pomegranate. Before you say it, yes, I know, pomegranate does taste good, and pomegranate juice is pretty great. But this isn’t a list of best fruits, and pomegranate is undoubtedly the most overrated fruit. Every time someone actually buys a whole pomegranate, everyone loses their collective mind, but when it comes to actually eat the thing, it’s such a let down. Too many gross tiny seeds, not enough juice and overall just a lot of work. 4/10 overall.

3. Blackberries. Blackberries are great. Shoutout to blackberries.

Athena Yang (NHS ’17)

Best Excuses Not to Take Stairs:

1. I just ate. This is probably true 87.8% of the time.

2. It was leg day yesterday. This makes me seem like I’m in shape, but in reality, if I took the stairs it would be my leg day today.

3. I’m don’t want to get sweaty because I’m going on a date. Even though it is even less likely for me to be going on a date than walk up the stairs, normal people will never question the logic because they go on dates and know the importance of looking good. I also rather admit that I may sweat after walking up stairs than actually taking the stairs.

Mike Radice (SFS ’18)

The Workers on Campus You Need to Hear About:

1. Leo’s Card Swipper. This guy sure does have a way with Georgetown students (read: ladies). If you’re a female, he might even grace you with a hearty hello! His everlasting smile and friendly demeanor make him a staple in the fine dining establishment that is O’Donovan’s Waterfront Dining.

2. Einstein’s Sweetheart. You haven’t experienced a true “woman for others” until you’ve met this woman, who runs the show at the Einstein’s in Regents. She prays for you, and will tell you about how she cares for you before you’ve met her. This woman is literally the nicest being on campus. Just try not to smile when you’re near her.

3. Einstein Celebrity. Did you know we have a celebrity of our very own on campus? Bagel artist at the Car Barn Einstein’s by day, beat dropper by night, this lady lives a double life as one of DC’s most respected female rappers. Quiet behind the counter, this diva drops some sick lines in her freestyle raps found here. Check her out!

Jacky Pi (SFS ’19)

The Best Places to Poop on Campus:

These places were found based on the merit of cleanliness, privacy, and overall proximity/accessibility on campus.

1. Healey Family Student Center. Private Family Bathroom. Located right before the public women/men bathrooms. Near the Bulldog Tavern. This single stall, clean bathroom is in one of Georgetown’s most popular study spots. You can do your work and your “business” in silence.

2. Davis Performing Arts Center. Located on the lower floor. This place is empty during the day, just don’t go during a show night.

3. Regents. First floor, past the doors. Most science majors are too sleep deprived to even notice the smell.

Look out for their new blog posts coming soon! Welcome to the fam, guys.

Photos: Facebook.com #stalking