Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

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Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Georgetown University’s Newspaper of Record since 1920

The Hoya

Teach Me How to Healy Lawn: The Do’s and Don’ts of Lawn Culture

Teach+Me+How+to+Healy+Lawn%3A+The+Dos+and+Donts+of+Lawn+Culture

TEACH ME HOW TO HEALY LAWN

It is one of the harsh truths of life that not all grass is created equal. Some grass just gets more ass than its fellow patches, and the field with the greatest yield is undoubtedly the Front Lawn. As the temperature heats up, so does the lawn scene here at Georgetown, so break out the pastels and heed our advice on how to make the most of your midday lounge:

DO…

  • Call it the lawn, not the Quad or Courtyard or Grassy Area or SoReS (confused? You obviously didn’t read this).
  • Bring a blanket, especially if grass makes your legs break out in quarter-size hives and your nose transform into a snotty fountain of spring allergies. Or if you just don’t want to get your pastels dirty. Either way.
  • Load up on the snax. You might even consider having snacks on snacks on snacks.
  • Know your lawn zones. The Healy region is typically favored by those more inclined to the simple life: laying back, listening to music, generally taunting anyone in the reading room. The Copley side is better suited for active endeavors, such as throwing Frisbees and walking on a rope tied between two trees (also known as slacklining, or tight-rope walking for hipsters)
  • Stop by Lau 2 to do the following things: rub in the fact that you are a lawn god amongst mere Lau trolls and pick up some hydration that involves lemonade.

DON’T…

  • Take your shirt off without serious thought and reflection. Maybe make a pros and cons list. Once you become That Guy with His Shirt Off on The Lawn, you are forever That Guy (or That Girl, but that’s a whole different issue).
  • Call it Healy Beach. No matter what they told you in GAAP weekend, no one calls it this. You’ll sound like an L-7 weenie
  • Think you’re going to get any work done.
  • Stray too close to the circle of cross-legged students. No one knows how they got there, no one knows what class would ever dare meet on the Lawn, no one knows if their butts are getting really wet because they forgot blankets (see above). One thing we do know is that Thou Shalt Not Disrupt The Sacred Circle of Learning.
  • Forget to wear sunscreen. A sunglass tan is harder to pull off than a Pennsylvania ID at Rhino.
  • Just stick to your own blanket. Now is the time to mix. Now is the time to mingle. Now is the time to get a date to whatever formal you have coming up.

In fairness to the rest of the Georgetown grass, there are some other notable patches scattered about campus. If you’re looking to get off the beaten path (or just want to stare lovingly at the back of Leo’s), give the Southwest Quad a try. We also hear the new Regents lawn also offers some great views and potential for real work to be done, and its true that the Leavey Esplanade nearly hatched a Georgetown Day coup last year. But at the end of the day, nothing beats the iconic style of the Front Lawn.

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