Looming midterms hurting your soul? Cold and clouds keeping you ghostly pale? Constant name changes on Facebook reminding you of your lack of internship? The drab days of early February remind us all that we’re not getting any younger (or thinner, for that matter; the winter Velveetas are quickly becoming a threat to that spring break bod), so set down the history reading you were erratically highlighting and join us on a trip down memory lane.

Our drink selection this week harkens back to the simpler days when evolution was for Pokémon and “psych!” was but a harmless interjection after a prank. When computer labs were for Oregon Trail and that weird bug game (you feel me early Macintosh users). When study abroad meant meeting Lizzie McGuire’s twin in Rome and when an unlimited frozen yogurt machine sounded like something straight out of Zenon instead of the basement of Leo’s. So put on Aaron’s Party and invite the crew over for a good ole fashion ’90s pregame.  Because, really, who wouldn’t want to pollute their cherished childhood memories with cheap vodka?

This week’s game is a fresh take on an old favorite (read as: adjusting a beloved American classic to fit the demands of an ever-thirsty college student). In an effort to keep things simple while facilitating humiliating photo opportunities, we present, for your pregaming pleasure, Drinking Charades.

The Not-So-Kiddie Cocktail:

(Also known as the Dirty Shirley. But Shirley was the name of my middle school librarian and I feel uncomfortable about it so we’re sticking with this, eh?)

• 1 oz. vodka
• 5-6 oz. Sprite (7-up, Fresca — take your pick kids)
• Dash of grenadine syrup

1. Pour soda and vodka into a cup

2. Add grenadine to taste

3. Top with a cherry if you’re sophisticated. Makes 1 serving.

Drinking Charades:

General Rules (you should already know these):

-Divide your party into two teams.

-On scraps of paper (a.k.a. that stats assignment you never turned in), each player should write down places, things, movies or people to be acted out.

Example: Honey Boo Boo, freshmen getting into Rhino, Space Jam, Leo’s

(Note: if you are exceptionally lazy/uncreative, there are smartphone apps to generate charades suggestions.)

-Place all of the cards (a.k.a. paper scraps) in a bowl/hat/solo cup/empty Wisey’s container, and have the teams alternate sending players to act for the team.

-Each actor has 30 seconds (or however long you decide) to try to get their team to correctly guess the card. ACTORS CANNOT MAKE ANY NOISE. This includes talking, humming, grunting, moaning, sniveling, etc.

-If the actor’s team fails to guess correctly, the other team has ONE chance to guess.

-Tally the number of correct guesses for each team, and when you run out of cards, whoever has the most points wins!

Reasons to Imbibe

-If you wish to switch the card you choose with another from the bowl, take a big swig.

-If a team fails to guess correctly, the actor takes a big swig.

-If a team guesses correctly, the entire opposing team takes a big swig.

-If you blurt out an answer when it is the other team’s turn to guess (a.k.a. during the performance of an opposing actor), take a shot.

-If you make noise while being an actor, first, remind yourself that you are indeed playing CHARADES, and secondly, take a shot.

-When all the cards have been used, the team with the least number of correct guesses finishes their drinks.

Photo: AchluoMania.blogspot, PortingTeam.com, JulianaTalksIncoherently.blogspot, Fanpop.com