I don’t know about the women in your family but, when it comes to awards shows, my ladies get serious. Last night, when we found ourselves separated during the Golden Globes, we promptly started a group message and carried on as if we were all home and had shunned the boys to their football upstairs.

I was at a 4E meeting (THANKS EMILY) for most of the red carpet portion of the night (Emily: No problem girl! Any time!) so I was not as active in our conversation as I would have liked, but I will interject as I please here. Allow me to introduce to you: Fashion Police: The Holland Women Edition.

The conversations went a little like this:

Sister Holland: “Let’s get this group text going! Mom you keep emailing me instead of texting.”

Mama Holland: “Send me a text and I’ll stick to it.”

Sister Holland: “Just keep responding to this one. The one about mango salsa was an email.”

Mama Holland: “Ethan Hawke looking fine. Lorde is also impressive.”

Sister Holland: “I do like Lorde’s look.”

Me: “I agree ladies. Lorde is fierce. Love her hair. Who’s next?”

Mama Holland: “Giuliana’s hair looks fried and in need of a serious haircut. Too much boob. She needs a different neck line.”

Mama Holland: “I think I saw Tina Fey with a pretty ponytail.”

Mama Holland: “Yuck Brandi Chastain looks like Jessica Rabbit.”

Me: “The resemblance is eery. Unfortunate because she normally brings her A-game.”

Mama Holland: “I love Sienna’s dress. LOVE.”

Me: “LOVE AS WELL. CAN I HAVE IT?” (No response)

Mama Holland: “Love Maggie Gyllenhaal. Who’s Anna Kendrick? So pretty.”

Sister Holland: “She’s in Pitch Perfect. So awesome.”

Me: “When I’m gone… When I’m gooooone!”

Mama Holland: “Love Christian Dior on Felicity.”

Me: “Omg. Can I make this a blog post please?”

Sister Holland: “Downton!!!”

Mama Holland: “Downton wins!!!!!! … Are you mocking me, Emma?”

Sister Holland: “No, mom. I seriously think it would be a hit.”

Me: “No I’m not. You’re right about everything. Keep it coming.”

Mom: “I’m switching to Downton at 9…. Downton.”

Mama Holland: “Oooh Naomi needs a Sephora color specialist to check her foundation.”

Sister Holland: “Lol”

Mama Holland: “Do we like Kerry Washington’s dress? I think I don’t love it.”

Sister Holland: “I like the cut but not loving the colors.”

Mama Holland: “Agreed. Love the cut of the top.” 

Me: “Same… Did you guys see the opening monologue? So funny.”

Sister Holland: “With Amy and Tina? They’re amazing. The Bill Cosby jokes? Yikes.”

Me: “I know but I think it was kind of awesome.”

Mama Holland: “I didn’t think it was that funny. Not their best work.”

…

Mama Holland: “Good night girls. Love you xoxo”

We love you too, Mom.

Conclusions: The Holland women are on a first name basis with all the celebs, we have high-ass standards and we love Downton Abbey more than exclamation points can express.

Photos: https://www.kansascity.com/living/xcqmd5/picture6034677/alternates/FREE_960/72nd%20Annual%20Golden%20Gl_Schu(49).jpg, https://img.trendencias.com/2015/01/lorde-golden-globes-2015.jpg, https://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/photo_galleries/red_carpet_galleries/5041-giuliana-rancic-2015-golden-globeshap/1421016482_giuliana-rancic-zoom.jpg, https://heavyeditorial.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/461356046_10.jpg?w=708, https://www.blogcdn.com/slideshows/images/slides/326/178/4/S3261784/slug/l/72nd-annual-golden-globe-awards-arrivals-1.jpg, https://photos.laineygossip.com/articles/miller-globes-12jan15-07.jpg,https://photos.laineygossip.com/articles/kendrick-globes-12jan15-03.jpg, https://www.usmagazine.com/uploads/assets/photo_galleries/regular_galleries/2701-golden-globes-2015-red-carpet-fashion-what-the-stars-wore/photos/1421023513_kerry-washington-zoom.jpg; wikimedia.org