Hey Amy,

So I think I have this problem. I went home the past weekend and and saw my boyfriend for the first time since I left for school. It was nice; I mean we had a nice time because it’d been so long since we’d seen each other in person, but I couldn’t help thinking that he was a little uninterested in the whole thing. I don’t know how exactly to describe it, but it’s been almost tense these past few months, with me going off to my freshman year in DC and him staying behind (he’s a year younger than me). I can’t help thinking that he’s getting a little frustrated with me being so far away and only talking on the phone.

I mean, it’s annoying for me too. There are definitely a lot of cute boys here and I always have to remind them (and myself) that I have a boyfriend when things get a little crazy at parties. I don’t know what to do. Part of me just wants to ask my boyfriend whether he thinks this whole long-distance thing is working, but part of me doesn’t want to hurt his feelings because I’m not really sure what he thinks of all of this. Maybe I’m just playing it too safe. I spend a lot of saturday nights I should probably be spending meeting new people just locked up in my room talking to him on the phone. I don’t think he’s liking it that much either.

What should I do? It feels like a lose-lose situation.

Sincerely,

Anxiously Avoiding Physical Contact at Brown House

Dear Anxious,

I do have some good friends that are able to maintain healthy long distance relationships and it is only because they allow themselves and their significant other to enjoy where there are at the present moment. They balance talking and maintaining contact with going out and meeting new people. First semester freshman year is definitely a huge test of your relationship but it usually has to do less with how you feel about your boyfriend and more about how you balance your time and relationships. So talk to your boyfriend about how you can make time for him and your new college life as well as his high school life. Instead of making it about how he seems annoyed, make it about how you can make it better—for the both of you.

xoxo

Amy

Yo Amy,

I’m a sophomore in the College. I thought, coming into this new year, that I wouldn’t really be homesick. I mean, I just got a bunch of leadership positions in the clubs I joined as a freshman, I feel like I have a good group of friends that I spend time with, and I’m even managing most of my schoolwork. I don’t know what’s up with me but I wake up most mornings really homesick anyway. I miss my family and being home more than I ever did in freshman year. I don’t even know why.

I think I’m happy here. My work keeps me pretty busy but I still find time to have fun. Georgetown is finally starting to feel like the right place for me, but I still can’t help feeling homesick. I don’t know if it has something to do with it finally settling in that college isn’t just some magical thing that happens to you after high school. 

Does this happen to everyone?

Sincerely,

Homesick Sophomore

Dear Homesick,

I think you’re especially homesick because you’re realizing what was your home for about 18 years isn’t exactly your “home” anymore. Although it is still a loved place that holds some of your best memories, it is no longer where you spend most or your time or even where you feel most comfortable. You drift away from old friends, your interests broaden and change and you are not able to fully identify with people and experiences that once defined you.

What I’ve found, at least from my own experiences, is that longing for what once was is a part of growing up. Of course you’ll miss your childhood, but it’s also easy, when getting all sucked up into that sort of mentality, to forget all the incredible things happening to you right now.

Try not to romanticize your childhood home and instead focus on the great experiences and friends you have in your new home. I know it’s hard. It’s something we all share, as young people living away from their family for the first time in their lives. But I guess all I can say is that it’s something we have to do. There’s no way to move forward without looking forward.

xoxo

Amy

Amy is an eighth year student majoring in High Yield Staple-Gunning and Political Cartoon Theory in the McCourt School of Public Policy. Originally hailing from the eastern province of Qaqortoq, Greenland, she has traveled the world absorbing culture, leading protests, and, as always, hunting for the perfect man to clean her pool, mix her drinks, and model her upcoming line of faux-fur compression shorts.