Hoya Love Tips

You may have heard about the recent proposal on campus where two members of Georgetown staff were casually caught walking out of Healy Hall on a Tuesday evening only to be greeted by a candlelit Healy circle engulfed in the bellowing voices of the Georgetown Chimes.

Missed it? Perhaps you’ve had a chance to swoon over other Hoya Love Stories. Or, if anything, you must’ve heard by now that 70% of Hoyas marry Hoyas.

If all of this is sounding really unfamiliar, no worries! 4E is here to bring you back into the love loop. Here are our expert-advised top four best ways to ensure you find love on the hilltop!

Freshmen we’re looking at YOU. This first one’s a good one, but you’ve got to lock it down fast. It’s about laundry and given that we’re only about a month into school your suitor might still be unsuspicious when you approach him or her in the laundry room asking for instruction. Here are the can’t miss questions to lock down your lover in a CODElaundry101 situation: Which machine cleans clothes and which one dries them? Uh huh. Next ask something a little more cheesy: Are you an angel? Because you’re just so radiant, sparkly and clean I don’t even think I need to wash this load. And last, but **not least** Could you help me fold my delicates?
Next we have the one, the only, LEO’s 2.0. Is there a particular hunny you’ve got your eye glued to, enough to notice that he/she waits in the pasta line at 5:40pm every weekday (except Tuesdays) where she orders wheat, a little of both sauces and loads up with a bowl of broccoli to mix in? Ah, we know just the case! Surprise your prospect by arriving at 5:20pm, have their pasta ready for them as they come in, lock arms and direct them to a table. Proceed to ask them in miniscule detail about every aspect of their worst nightmare. Then act it out. It will put them at ease.
TA-TIME: Think your Econ TA’s got their eye on you? There’s about a 300% chance that all hunches are accurate, so I’d say you’re in the clear. Now’s your time to swoop in. On your next exam, granted that the TA will be the one grading it, make sure to add a little something something to one of your short answers. Throughout the test you can throw out subtle hints like a few hearts here and there, maybe a pick up line, but save the real juicy stuff for the end. When it comes time for that final short answer question, I don’t care what the subject is: Math, Econ, Poetry in the 18th century… Use your knowledge to construct a well thought out plan of action. For example: Roses are red, violets are blue, meet me at my place at 6 so I can “kiss you”.

4. Last, but certainly not least, the classic: The girl or guy next door. Maybe the above scenarios haven’t quite hit home yet. If that’s the case this is the one for you. Throughout your four years here on the hilltop you are bound to have a neighbor befitting of the guy/gal next door complex. When you do, here’s what you need to do: First, slide notes under his/her door. One per week. Try to write a story with them, it can be about anything, but we prefer bunnies. Additionally, you need to listen. Through the wall, through the door, I don’t care. But you need to dig up as much dirt as you can! Once you’ve mastered the art of ~~eavesdropping~~ caring, you can use your acquired material to your advantage. Show up at his/her door and walk them to class. Every class, everyday. You absolutely cannot miss. Your persistence will steal their heart. Keep the notes coming and add more stalker-esque activity whenever you hear something fitting.