2/5 stars

Among the heavy Academy Award-nominated dramas that are currently gracing the big screen, Bullet to the Head, director Walter Hill’s first movie in ten years, provides its audience with a little humor — and unfortunately it’s the unintentional, cheesy kind. After having endured three hours of The Hobbit and another two and half hours of Les Miz, I was looking forward to a normal-length movie to start off my new year. However, I didn’t expect to think that watching the movie would make me want to put a bullet to my own head.

Based on Alexis Nolent’s graphic novel Du Plomb Dans LaTete, the film revolves around the dysfunctional relationship between the pistol- and revolver-wielding duo James Bonomo — a.k.a Jimmy Bobo — (Sylvester Stallone), a jaded and trigger-happy New Orleans hit man with a ruthless contempt for the law, and Taylor Kwon (Sung Kang), a D.C. detective gone rogue. When Jimmy’s partner is killed by a 7-foot goon, he vows revenge and teams up with the scrappy Taylor to track down those responsible. The pair, whose partnership largely resembles a caricature of Batman and Robin, eventually catches wind of a local conspiracy involving government contracts, converted condos and an unscrupulous African developer with connections to corrupt congressmen in the district. (Surprise, surprise.)

However, the plot is largely irrelevant. In my opinion, Bullet to the Head is a shameless buddy action flick — given the countless number of brain-splats and goons — and it knows it. However, slapstick comedy lies in between the bullets, even if the movie is meant to be an action-packed thriller directed and filmed in a way that harkens back to the style of ‘70s and ‘80s hero movies. With its erupting geysers of blood, thumping fist fights, hails of bullets and countless dead bodies, the movie would probably be more successful if it were touted as a comedy. Now don’t get me wrong. I respect thatStallone is a giant in the realm of action cinema and definitely think he is deserving of the recognition. His role makes for a Sly Stallone as opposed to a Rambo-like one however, delivering one-liners worthy of LOLs to his by-the-book partner that reek of hilarious racial undertones. They do nothing but advance cultural stereotypes, although Stallone remains amusing.

Ultimately, this should have been a straight-to-DVD action flick. With a rather forgettable and, dare I say, dull plot, Bullet to the Head features mediocre acting despite its A-level cast, and its aestheticallyboring scenes do not speak particularly well to its $55 million budget. For all we know, the movie could be a witty and clever parody of all those politically incorrect action movies of the past.