Does anyone else out there watch “Portlandia”? For those of you unfamiliar with the show, it’s a sketch comedy that kind of makes me want to move to Portland every time I watch it … even as it pokes fun at the city’s “alternative” identity. Anyway, I’ve been watching the show all morning, and it’s made me realize how exhausting it is to be cool. Caring about where our chicken entree spent its life and casually painting birds on vintage finds? I need a nap and a McFlurry just thinking about it. So today, I’m not even going to try to be cool. Bear with me.

Instead, I’m going to talk about something cooler than being cool (no, not ice cold) — yes, my friends, we are entering the realm of guilty pleasure songs. You know the ones … each time they accidentally come on at a social gathering you use the excuse that your little sister put them on your iTunes. It’s OK, don’t be shy. I have a bazillion guilty pleasure songs and I am willing to admit them all right now. I actually have Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen on my iPod. No shame.

So this week, instead of telling you about a new band in which each member plays the flute, I’m going to share with you some of my new favorite songs that I don’t want anyone to catch me listening to. For you closeted lovers of rap, download “Young, Wild, & Free” by Wiz Khalifa. This track has a breezy, carefree chorus and a relaxed beat — it would be perfect for the summer, except that I refuse to wait that long to listen to it. It also makes use of a piano —  more rap songs should do this. Seriously, it sounds incredible. Plus, it has my favorite rap song characteristic, which is one hooked-on-phonics verse that people can actually sing at parties, since they’re far too gone to rap complicated lyrics at any speed.

All you former devotees of Sarah McLaughlin and Tori Amos, listen up. Don’t chuckle; I know you’re out there. I’m going to ask you listen to “Arms” by Christina Perri. I bet you’ve been missing empowered female singers since Alanis Morisette went underground. Never fear — “Arms” is not just another love song about getting your man; it’s about being a strong woman afraid to let people into your heart. Remember back in the ’90s when that message wasn’t a cliche? Embrace that time. Let Perri’s slightly discordant voice and soaring piano backdrop take you there.

Brace yourself for this week’s last song. It’s a confession that’s been haunting me for a while. I like country music. What can I say? I feel mildly nostalgic for a world where there’s never a shortage of Bud Light, trucks or dirt roads, even though I’ve never been to such a place. For those of you who share my affection, listen to “Baggage Claim” by Miranda Lambert. This has all the hallmarks of a great country song: a particularly twang-infused voice, plenty of attitude and music that relies almost entirely on a standard guitar riff. Plus, it’s perfect for anyone going through relationship trouble at the moment — and we all know there can’t be enough of those songs.

So there you have it: three new guilty pleasure songs that offer a little something for everyone. As much as I love my indie bands, saying I “went to a show last week,” and casually pretending that I know more than I do about music, I think everyone can benefit from easy listening once in a while. Let’s spend a lot more time listening to these songs and a lot less time debating the musical significance of The Smith’s Meat Is Murder and discussing David Lynch films. Because that just makes me want another McFlurry.

Kinne Chapin is a senior in the College. She can be reached at [email protected]. FACE THE MUSIC appears every other Friday in the guide.